The Hobbit movie announced!

OK, who wins?
Conan vs. Bilbo in a straight up fight.

I say even with the Ring of Power and an elf-forged blade, Bilbo gets split from crotch to neck by the Cimmerian's broadsword. It's over in two melee rounds.

"Crom, count the dead hobbits!" :wink:
 
I'm most excited by the in the form of Paul Anderson, director of RESIDENT EVIL. Now that's a guy who can direct a grade A zombie movie just like Jackson, so why not hobbits next? Jackson's too busy doing King Kong with Jack Black.
 
Hmmm...Announce this on April 1st with an announcement on April 2nd? As in April Fools?

But anyway....

2 rounds?

Conan stared like a wolf and perched.

Though his eyes gave him blindness, his ears and nose flared alert as the smell of seconds breakfast sausage hobbit weed floated through the forest. Invisible and feeling safe Bilbo patted his stomach but fell to the ground with a squeal.

Pouncing out of the shadows like a panther conan reigned down his sword, "Crom... I don't have time for riddles..."
 
Iron Chef, I respect your work on this forum and love the Octopus cook offs but nice try....

:lol: if your website is real I will publically post that you were right and I was wrong.
 
Riddle me right, riddle me left,
Who's afraid of the Iron Chef?


How come New Line Cinema hasn't announced this anywhere? :wink:
 
Yuan-Ti, I can't say Iron Chef created this but rather fell for it and passed it on.

thehobbitfilm.com is registerd and part of the same website as theonering.net, of which the theonering.com links to tolkienonline.com, all under the name of PowerUser Incorporated.

So Yuan-Ti I deduct this is all an april fools joke to all the people who have been pestering Peter Jackson to do The Hobbit.

...c'mon Jack Black in a remake of Donkey...I mean King Kong???? (..wait tell me that ones not real).
 
SetWorshipper said:
Yuan-Ti, I can't say Iron Chef created this but rather fell for it and passed it on.

thehobbitfilm.com is registerd and part of the same website as theonering.net, of which the theonering.com links to tolkienonline.com, all under the name of PowerUser Incorporated.

So Yuan-Ti I deduct this is all an april fools joke to all the people who have been pestering Peter Jackson to do The Hobbit.

...c'mon Jack Black in a remake of Donkey...I mean King Kong???? (..wait tell me that ones not real).

Man, I so did not fall for this hoax. I saw it over on ENWorld (where people were falling for it until I set the record straight) and thought it would make a funny April Fool's joke for this forum.
http://www.enworld.org/forums/showthread.php?t=82555

Check the times on my posts there and here. My ENWorld debunking post came before I spread it as a gag over here. I thought you guys considered me smarter than this? LOL :roll:

© MMIII NW LINE PRODUCTIONS. ™ THE SEUL ZEANTZ COMPANY D/B/A TOLKEIN ENTERPRISES UNDER LICENSE TO NW LINE PRODUCTIONS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

These mispellings are deliberate (to prevent lawsuits) and is the key to the joke, which should be obvious, at least to a careful observer or to anyone in the entertainment industry:

"NW Line" instead of "New Line"
"Seul Zeantz" instead of "Saul Zantz"
"Tolkein" instead of "Tolkien"

Also, as was previously mentioned, by referring to Paul Anderson as being "responsible for" the horrible films mentioned is another clue.

The website and film announcent are a subtle hoax. Note the "Watch for special announcement April 2nd" blurb, probably to let everyone in on the joke.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by Iron_Chef : Today at 09:40 AM.
 
I never said Iron Chef fell for it... nor did I say he made it up... It seems I was right all along. :wink:
 
After a long day...and dieing on a long difficult level of Indiana Jones and the Emporer's tomb (Albino Croc got me AFTER I got the gold item)...I opened up the forum to find this and was PEEVED to see that Jackson wasn't doing it....but molified that Ian, Andy and WETA were still involved....then I read the rest of the forum...
 
As for Conan v. Bilbo: Gandalf would step in (as usual) and save Bilbo's ass at the last moment. It would be over for Conan then . . . 8)
 
BhilJhoanz said:
As for Conan v. Bilbo: Gandalf would step in (as usual) and save Bilbo's ass at the last moment. It would be over for Conan then . . . 8)

Conan would cut Gandalf to pieces just like he did to every other wizard he ever met except Thoth-Amon. Thoth-Amon's foul sorceries are stronger than Gandalf's "tremble before my glowing staff!" petty conjurings, thus, I think Gandalf would be lunchmeat before the mighty Cimmerian's broadsword swung in earnest. :wink:
 
Iron_Chef said:
Conan would cut Gandalf to pieces just like he did to every other wizard he ever met except Thoth-Amon. Thoth-Amon's foul sorceries are stronger than Gandalf's "tremble before my glowing staff!" petty conjurings, thus, I think Gandalf would be lunchmeat before the mighty Cimmerian's broadsword swung in earnest. :wink:
I have to disagree with you.

I would contend that if Gandalf can defeat a Balrog that wields a giant flaming sword and a whip, basically one of the demons created by Morgoth in the early days, then fighting a barbarian, however famous, would be somewhat anticlimactic.

Just because Gandalf chooses not to fight in most cases doesn't mean he can't whup a little @ss when required. :p

<tease>
My wizard is better than your barbarian! nya nya nya nyaaaaah!
</tease>

My real answer is if through some twisted cross-genre mixup Gandalf were pitted against Conan, he'd find some way to prevent actually fighting Conan in the first place. You know, maybe say something like "Hey, you're not my enemy, let's join forces and defeat <insert common foe here>." (something Conan does successfully quite often).
 
These immature comic-book discussions have no place in our serious discussion of Conan's abilities. Shame on all of you! :x

As proof, I was recently informed that there WAS a comic book in which Conan fought Wolverine and... Wolverine won! Sheer, unadulterated nonsense.

So, please, let's stick to realistic discussions.

For example, I watched Conan the Barbarian the other night and my wife and I decided Conan could beat Batman in a fight. Or, at the very least, Conan would be able to pick up more chicks than Batman.
 
No way, Yuan. Batman said it himself: "Chicks dig the car." 8)

As to Thoth-Amon or Conan vs. Gandalf, the pulp characters would be just that, pulp. They are talented mortals; Gandalf is a Maia (think archangel, ye who know not Tolkien).

I'm leaving this discussion before I lose any more self-respect. :roll:
 
yup. I say Gandalf is the only one who would live...i don't know....Pug from Feist's Riftwar Saga might stand a chance. Maybe Merlin? But Conan would kick Batman's ass!
 
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