Bored by REH Purism, or "Up With Pastiches!"

slaughterj said:
Mongoose Old Bear said:
Anonymous said:
who do you think would win--Conan or Drizz't?

Conan. Lucky for that Sauron chap that the Big C wasn't knocking around Middle Earth... :twisted:

Don't worry, as soon as the dual-licensing from CPI and Tolkien's people comes through, we'll get that pastiche ;)

I've already got a writer in mind... :twisted:
 
Mongoose Old Bear said:
slaughterj said:
Mongoose Old Bear said:
Conan. Lucky for that Sauron chap that the Big C wasn't knocking around Middle Earth... :twisted:

Don't worry, as soon as the dual-licensing from CPI and Tolkien's people comes through, we'll get that pastiche ;)

I've already got a writer in mind... :twisted:

Is anyone else very, very scared?

Shannon
Mongoose Writing Slave
 
Sauron would whup Conan, only because you need a female to whup Sauron. It can't be a sissy like Legolas either, it has to be an honest-to-Crom female. However, I think Red Sonja would whup Sauron but good.
I was thinking maybe a Marvel Team-up type comic, where Thoth Amon goes summoning other dimensional beings to try to whup Conan, and every month you get a new scrap--Conan vs. Wolverine, Conan vs. the Punisher, Conan vs. Myxlplik, that kind of thing.
 
Anonymous said:
Sauron would whup Conan, only because you need a female to whup Sauron. It can't be a sissy like Legolas either, it has to be an honest-to-Crom female. However, I think Red Sonja would whup Sauron but good.
I was thinking maybe a Marvel Team-up type comic, where Thoth Amon goes summoning other dimensional beings to try to whup Conan, and every month you get a new scrap--Conan vs. Wolverine, Conan vs. the Punisher, Conan vs. Myxlplik, that kind of thing.

I think you may be thinking of the Witch King. Conan would just cut the arm off the nearest woman and beat him to death with it.
 
Mongoose Old Bear said:
I think you may be thinking of the Witch King. Conan would just cut the arm off the nearest woman and beat him to death with it.

Nice way of defusing an explosive thread. :lol:

I think Old Bear is a big-time Conan fan, but also probably right, I can sort of see him wielding a woman as a bludgeoning weapon. :D

TTFN,

Yokiboy
 
No. I can't really see Conan just loping off a woman's arm, unless the she-devil attacked him then she's fair game.

I think Conan would probably have access to some sort of MacDuff clause "... from my mother's womb untimely ripped..." or thereabouts, I don't have MacBeth in front of me.

Or more probably Conan would sieze the nearest gopher and choke the witch-king to death with it. Conan didn't kill him, the gopher lodged in his throat did.

Grim Wanderer
 
Here's my take on pastiches. I knew a guy once, a long time ago, who was the nearest thing to Conan I've ever met. He even looked like Conan with long black curly hair if you could imagine. I'm not going to talk about his story because it isn't my story. Let's just say one time he picked up the front end of a car so his wife could change a flat, since they didn't have a jack, and that's chicken feed compared to some of his other exploits. But the things he did fed the things that were attributed to him, and people said this and that, not knowing the truth of any of it, but all the same fattening up the legend.
I could just see a group of Pictish people sitting around the campfire long after Conan King of Aquilonia had passed on. Telling stories to wide-eyed youngsters of battles that had occured generations ago; Conan taking on the proportions of a folk hero or villain in the case of his enemies the Picts. Conan growing 5 heads and using a lightning bolt for a sword.
Or the stories told in drinking halls, one warrior to another of how he rode with Conan long ago, embellishing more madly as he got even deeper in his cups. A person like Conan would have a vast body of stories attributed to him, each true in its own rite no matter how ludicrous or legendary. It just seems like when Robert E. Howard wrote about him, he was the guy that knew him. Everything else was just bollox; REH was actually there when it all went down.
 
Chello!

Guest, I really like that take on it....Howard was his friend...the rest are just telling tales.

Yeah, definitely like that idea! And the movie is a bad play! ;)

Tony
 
I've read this entire thread, twice, and now I figure it's time to put my opinion down on the matter.

REH was a great, some may say awesome, writer and well ahead of his time. The problem is that you
can only read his works so many times before they become stagnant. It's like watching a movie you love over and over again. Sooner or later, you'll get bored with it. The pastiches, good and bad, is what kept Conan alive over the last few decades.

And although the movie was lame to most of us REH purists, it served its purpose, in my opinion, and helped me get a few of my friends into reading Conan. Hell, my niece watched Conan for the first time last month and now she's reading my Conan books.

Personally, I cut my 'Conan' teeth on reading Marvel's Savage Sword of Conan and Conan the Barbarian comics before I read any of the books. And I still enjoy reading the comics from time to time but that does'nt make me a lesser fan then the purists out there
 
Pstiches are fine - I loved the 1st movie, I love a lot of the SSOC stories I've read, even the very un-Howardesque ones with b&w morality and active gods - I just don't want them treated as canon by the RPG.
 
S'mon said:
Pstiches are fine - I loved the 1st movie, I love a lot of the SSOC stories I've read, even the very un-Howardesque ones with b&w morality and active gods - I just don't want them treated as canon by the RPG.

The decison making on what is canon is determined by Conan Properties, who give us our working parameters. As such what you will see in our Conan game is canon, because the owners say it is. That's the way it goes and in time people will simply come to accept it. We are striving here to produce the finest, best supported Conan game ever. It's something I dreamt of as a teenager, never thinking for a second that one day not only would I have a hand in it, but be in charge of the team producing it.

With Vincent Darlage as my font of knowledge, Clayton Bunce designing the maps and Rich Neale taking charge of development, I have a fully reshaped team intent on turning Conan into what it deserves to be.
 
Well I hope Conan Properties knows what they're doing then. Certainly it looks good so far - I couldn't have hoped for a better treatment of Hyborian religion than the core Conan book does. Is Conan the first atheist fantasy RPG? :)
 
S'mon said:
Well I hope Conan Properties knows what they're doing then. Certainly it looks good so far - I couldn't have hoped for a better treatment of Hyborian religion than the core Conan book does. Is Conan the first atheist fantasy RPG? :)

Fred Malmberg and his team at Conan Properties certainly have every robust views about where they want to take Conan, which can only be good for all Conan fans. For too long Hyboria has taken a back seat to lesser fantasy creations which ramp up monsters and magic because they lack the depth that Howard put into his background.

Everybody has their own vision of what countries such as Aquilonia or Turan look like. How long is Yezdigerd's beard? What equipment should a Nemedian arbalaster wear? Given this there has to be compromise. I look at it this way - I've waited a helluva long time for Conan to get the attention he deserves...
 
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