vladthemad
Mongoose
The first thing I'd like to note after a first browse, at least from my personal perspective, is that the character creation flowchart is very busy. A flow chart aught to be simple to follow, as it's designed to simplify things. I like the fact that it includes page numbers, but because of the color scheme and the choice of layout, I doubt I'd use it. I'd suggest making it a standard flow chart with page references, and leave out all the flare.
Also, from a customer standpoint, I'd recommend avoiding dark backgrounds with light text as I'm seeing in the character creation section and the flowchart, as well as scattered throughout the book. I'm seeing that more and more in rpg books over the years. In my experience, with the excessive amount of use and abuse a lot of RPG manuals receive, dark pages like this transfer over to the facing pages. It's also probably cheaper to print!
Also, from a customer standpoint, I'd recommend avoiding dark backgrounds with light text as I'm seeing in the character creation section and the flowchart, as well as scattered throughout the book. I'm seeing that more and more in rpg books over the years. In my experience, with the excessive amount of use and abuse a lot of RPG manuals receive, dark pages like this transfer over to the facing pages. It's also probably cheaper to print!