Duke Norris Facts

[cmdrx]

This came up at my game last week. I wonder if this has already been done. Duke Norris Facts, done in the same vein as Chuck Norris Facts. Here's a couple from one of my players:

- Archduke Norris once stared into jumpspace. The experience drove jumpspace mad.
...
- When Archduke Norris takes an interstellar trip, his ship doesn't use jump drives. He just roundhouse kicks it into the next system. The ship arrives a week before it left.

 

[far-trader]

Duke Norris didn't need no stinking Imperial Warrant!

Duke Norris IS an Imperial Warrant!

 

[Nathan Brazil]

Not as funny. Duke (and later Archduke) Norris, does not fit the combatant role (Frontier Wars aside). More like things that fit with his history in the various books.

"Archduke Norris loved children, just not disagreeable ones. So he made true-clones of himself"

 

[rust]

Duke Norris' tears are anagathics. Unfortunately he never cries.

Duke Norris wears Ancient boots. Made from real Ancients.

Duke Norris never plays God. Playing is for children.

The universe does not expand. It flees from Duke Norris.

 

[Nathan Brazil]

Yaskodray knew the universe was not big enough for the two of them, so he pinched off a pocket universe knowing Duke Norris would eventually be born.

The Darrians did not create a Star Trigger. Duke Norris needed a light for his cigar.

Vargr raiders do not enter the Spinward Marches. Duke Norris taught them to be good doggies.

 

[Nathan Brazil]

Tigress class Dreadnoughts? Naw, those are just Duke Norris's privates.

 

[GamerDude]

Someone patted Duke Norris on the back once... Just Once!

 

[GJD]

Duke Norris can travel at Jump 7

 

[hdan]

When Duke Norris' Jump-Drive fires, the rest of the universe is forced into J-space for a week.

 

[alex_greene]

Duke Norris doesn't travel from planet to planet. When he wants to travel, he just pulls the other planet over to him.

 

[RichardX1]

- Duke Norris has Jack of All Trades 7. All other skills are rated 15.

- The Zhodani believe that if you try to read Duke Norris' mind, you only learn the time, location, and manner of your own death. The time is usually "the moment Duke Norris learns you tried to read his mind," and the manner usually involves a roundhouse kick.

 

[Judge Rob]

Duke Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a royal flush---

somehow, that one fits.

 

[AlphaWhelp]

Matter Disintegrator was the final name of what was originally called the Duke Norris' Breath Gun.

 

[alex_greene]

Jack, of "Jack of All Trades" fame, does not have Jack of All Trades Skill.

Jack of All Trades has Duke Norris of All Trades skill.

 

[Judge Rob]

In the beginning, there was the Big Bang...

Duke Norris roundhouse kicked it in the face and said, "Get a Job!"

Thus the universe had began.

 

[GJD]

Whenever your character dies due to a life event, that event is a cover for Duke Norris roundhouse kicking them to death because he didn't like your concept.

 

[BenTOGS]

I can't think of a more ridiclous topic;

Ahem...
Duke Norris met Elvis in a bar. Not only did he step on the blue-suede shoes, he left wearing them.

OMG

 

[alex_greene]

Duke Norris touched Superman's cape.

Twice.

 

[far-trader]

Duke Norris met Chuck Norris in a bar on Regina once...

...before they got into and destroyed all of Charted Space in a fight to see who was better Duke Norris realized it was his reflection in a mirror and called it a draw.

 

[locarno24]

Duke Norris' spine is a spinal mount.