Actual Play: Conan and the Ladies in Waiting

[nikita1]

Actual Play: Conan and the Ladies in Waiting...
“What does not destroy me makes me stronger” (Friedrich Nietzsche)

This is a short transcript of the action my playing group is doing. It is by no means a short story but strives to describe the actions as faithfully as the characters themselves felt at the moment.

Characters are:

Julia (Anne) comes from richest and most decadent part of Aquilonia, Attalusia. She has drunk the skills of plotting and skullduggery right in her mother’s womb and lives to marry and ultimately become a rich widow of massive fortune. She thinks she is not truly evil although corruption is lurking right on her shoulders.

Emilia (Sanna) comes from the Northern borders of Aquilonia, Tauran. Driven from her spoiled home by her petty -some would say rational- father, she lives for spur of the moment. She does not fully understand her sacred duty of becoming a proper wife, nor does she understand much anything else…

Livia “Agrippina” (Sari) hails from Poitainia. She is a devout maiden of great faith. Her interests are towards Mitra and making sure everyone else has to suffer from it too. Half devout, half heretic, she wants to marry and hates the whole idea. She carries out her other pursuits with the curious mixture of hypocrite and murderous glee…

The Plot:

All activities revolve around these three young ladies with a single goal in their life: to get married to good and decent (essentially very rich) Aquilonian noble families their fathers would accept. Subsequently they all have been sent by their families to capital of Aquilonia, Tarantia, to present themselves as available brides for interested parties.

Once in capital they are eventually ordered to accompany Princess Radegund, Princess of Aquilonia. She is known for her great beauty and wayward behavior. Most of the men are away in various campaigns and Aquilonia is a peaceful country because fighting actually happens abroad in territories soon to be conquered. King Conan is considered great warrior king and he keeps the nation in line with his strong hand steady at hilt of his sword as long as Zenobia, Queen of Aquilonia, whispers him the right directions through murky waters of diplomacy...

 

[Yogah of Yag]

Sounds rich with possibilities!
It's rare to have all all-female game. Let us know how it goes.
Welcome to the boards.

 

[nikita1]

Session 1: Where our heroines make their way through the perilous countryside of Aquilonia to great city of Tarantia, Capital of Aquilonia…

It is yet another night as always in Attalusia. Julia is eating dinner with her dear father who married her mother for two reasons: First, she had a reputation for being the most notorious harlot ever to grace bedrooms of Aquilonia, and second, the daughter came with the marriage. Right about now father is enjoying fruits of his hard labor as a fat disgusting trader by groping both large and small melons while trying to gorge more food down his seemingly endless throat.

All her regular methods of causing man to die have failed. This ox of a trader has survived seemingly endless array of untreatable poisons and curses, no trick in boudoir or street seem to have worked and he was so much past his prime the very idea of being with him made her feel miserable and sick.

Thus is the time when Julia’s mother has no choice but to kick off her daughter, her only weakness, away so that when hate blinds her judgment her daughter will not pay. After all, a failed attempt would lead to investigation that could point towards her and her trail of countless dead husbands and lovers and ultimately might lead to her judgment.

Knowing the evil harpies screaming for her blood due her profession she could expect to be hanged the very same day, or tortured to death by mutilation for entertainment of good and civil people of Attalusia. Thus she knows pain for her young yet bright daughter and she will send her to safety of a far away place where Julia will have a chance to make her own name unsullied by her mother’s very possible hanging.

She will also help Julia in her perilous journey with two important gifts. First, she has a well thought out list of richest husband candidates Aquilonia’s court currently has with detailed gossip of their weaknesses. This information is vital for future of her dear daughter. The second gift is a makeup kit that actually holds all kinds of perfumes, some for attracting men, others to make husbands die agonizing deaths. She is certain that Julia will have use for both. Finally she gives her last lesson like in so many nights after Julia’s father had passed out due exhaustion of drunken pleasure. It is a list of most vulnerable parts in man’s body with knowledge on how to pleasure or cause pain.

- -

Emilia sees her father for the first time in five or so years as he arises from satisfying his lust with her mother. He came right from killing evil Cimmerians and still holds a huge sack filled with fresh severed heads on his back. Emilia does not understand why her mother is screaming and weeping but there is probably a good reason for that. However, her mind is on huge sack and she asks for what gift did this blood soaked border prince bring to her. After all, what good is a father unless he brings gifts to his beautiful daughter? I want toys and gifts! NOW!

Her father, a wild boar of a man, is man who fears nothing. Surviving the grim torture of Cimmerian horde he escaped with severed heads of their leaders. He alone stacked those barbarians like chopping wood but it was the love of his wife and family that kept him going. What he hears makes him see red. He immediately changes from a freebooter to a loving father and beats his daughter up until she is but a red wound. It is his love that prevents him from punishing her with the rod but only with his fist.

Some time later he sees his daughter hugging a tree that he faintly remembers being some kind of sacred tree. Well, it is time for him to test his Cimmerian war axe on that tree and after good chopping the deed is done –for Mitra and for himself. The wood will be used to warm up the castle later that night. As far as his weeping brat is concerned, he would kick her off to King Conan’s castle. It would be high time she’d learn to be a woman, not spoiled child. She’d leave tonight!

- -

Livia was once known as Livia but in the temple of Mitra she was known as Agrippina. Now she is traveling towards the King Conan’s castle with her brother as her escort and remembering just how fast she became from a bride of Mitra to a dutiful daughter of her father. His father’s armies had fought long bloody wars in the West under Conan’s battle standard and his armies and war chest had bled white. Subsequently he had no choice but to sell his name to some rich man looking for entry to one of the oldest and noblest bloodlines of Poitainia. She would be the seal of that alliance. However, her father had not yet chosen the best candidate and thus she was sent right from the temple to Tarantia to show herself in Court so her availability would be known.

During the trip confused thoughts roll in Livia’s head. Yes she wants to marry, yes she is scared. Yes she thinks Mitra is eternal in his wisdom but what about those whispers that Mitra is actually a woman? However, these heretical thoughts are merely diversion from task she holds closest to her heart, one of Mitra. God of fair judgment, endless mercy and fine marriage! Meanwhile she spats on face of peasants that dare to come close to her. Meanwhile her brother shows off his first scar gotten in fierce skirmish telling the tale of savagery at greatest detail sparing Livia from not single glow or glancing hit. Livia suspects that the story grows larger at every telling as number of Pict warriors seem to grow but she is far too modest to point out such a minor detail to her dear brother.

- -

Once they arrive to King Conan’s castle the three girls find themselves quartered to a same room. After some time of getting to know each other and a rancorous pillow war it is time to sleep even Emilia cries through the night for her loneliness and death of her favorite tree. Considerably more hardened Julia hides her own tears of losing her mother while Livia has always been a lonely girl –whose best friends appear to be bees she kept in temple’s manor grounds.

Livia’s brother spends his night in castle too, bragging through the night with soldiers of dreaded Black Dragons. Brother leaves in next day after making so good impression King Conan’s battle hardened warriors laugh heartily at his tale of splitting Pictish skulls. He is also too young and eager to understand they were actually laughing at him.

Their day starts –like all good Aquilonian nobles do- with a prayer to Mitra for all of castle occupants. Then it is time for hearty breakfast enjoyed bathing in the bright morning light shining to massive hall of the castle. The Citadel –as it is known by its occupants- is actually built on a massive acropolis. Massive fortifications and grim garrison housed in dungeons make sure that King and his family stays well protected. The opulent palace inside the walls is entirely different matter. It is a shining example of decadence and pomposity that pervades the Hyborian civilization at its best.

Three girls soon notice that they have been assigned two peasants and a slave. A boy and a girl are their servants while a very young and nearly constantly sobbing Shemite girl is their slave. Three girls immediately decide to start to torture the boy as soon as they will have a chance but first they start their day by examining their surroundings.

Castle’s massive courtyard is filled with naked solders wrestling and engaging in popular martial games like beating up those weaker than you are. King Conan’s dreaded Black Dragons are out in force, being the largest and admittedly most disciplined combat force of Aquilonia. Livia looks blushing at the men as she now sees first hand why men are so different to girls (other than being hairy and violent). Julia knows to be cautious but Emilia thinks this is her first and best change to make new friends. Excitedly she goes right in the middle of the sparring men and loudly proclaims she wants also engage in melee. As men look at her smiling wolfishly Livia and Julia already run like hell. Emilia gets a bright idea as men are making comments of her rather young body and springs to safety of the keep –while Black Dragon men follow her with keenest interest. Livia and Julia get to their chamber first and bolt the door leaving hapless Emelia to survive on her own. She quickly gets yet another bright idea and jumps out of the nearest window which rather neatly stops the chase. Black Dragons might be men who fear nothing but even they are not that interested in young maiden covered in horses’ manure and floating in moat.

After an hour or so of convincing guards that somewhat stinking lady is actually a noblewoman of considerable standing Emilia finally gets back through gates of Citadel. After washing herself up in barrel intended as servant’s drinking water she joins her friends who have stayed back in their chamber. After that kind of an adventure they all agree that perhaps mixing with soldiers who seem to fill the castle courtyard from sunrise to sunset is not that good idea. Thus they all think that sleeping together with their servants and slave in safety of their chamber is best course of action. Livia ponders on going to observe mass of Mitra but her friends keep the door bolted, just in case there are more two feet beasts around.

Next morning starts with now familiar routine of observing Mitra’s wisdom at sunrise and then hearty breakfast. Some of the servants are sick –reportedly due water poisoning. However, this time they ask the servants to show them around. Thus girls tour the palace grounds. Compared to decidedly martial grimness of keep the palace is refreshing change. It combines the expensive construction with good taste –certainly something every Aquilonian architect wishes to achieve.

Eventually they all end up in Palace gardens where rare plants and springs mixture with statues. Gilded gages are filled with exotic birds. It is a perfect place for them to spend their time. While Livia enjoys silence and the eternal wisdom of Mitra sitting amongst the beauty Julia examines the flowers for their narcotic qualities. After all, her supply of man killers may not last enough to supply her soon to die husband she desperately needs.

However, Emilia is again on a tour and this time she has collected a jar filled with ants and other gross things. Once in bathroom she’ll drop the jar into a hole and then demand that the servant boy will fetch her jar. Once done he has to collect the insects, one at the time. As he is covered in waste Emilia giggles at him and enjoys her new toy –she’ll have a lot more games in her mind…

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[Strom]

Maybe further description of the pillow fight is needed... :lol:

Very unique adventure nikita1. Thanks for sharing.

 

[nikita1]

Session 2: Where our heroines meet King Conan the Usurper and his Court and see the palace grounds including dark dungeons…

Right at noon three young ladies are told that King Conan is holding court today. It is a prime chance for them to present themselves before the mightiest man of the Hyborian age –King of Aquilonia. Since Emilia is stinking again -for some reason Julia and Livia can only wonder about- they will take their bath before her. Then it is down to serious business of turning from a young girl to a presentable noble lady. According to ancient customs that have passed from great Kingdom of Atlantis all noble ladies will always use all allotted time to prepare themselves and have to complain that they are merely half presentable when they absolutely must hurry to reception.

King Conan’s court goes as their father’s courts. Patron listens to his subjects while listening for advice from his advisors. Queen Zenobia seems to have keen wit. She might be quiet and supportive of her husband’s will but Julia notices that Queen appears much like her own mother: gauntlet behind silk glove. However, King Conan says the last word. As time goes by more and more vassals present their complaints and wishes. Julia sees Conan getting impatient and irritated but his wife smoothes the story. So even a mighty Conan has a weakness! It could be used to advantage if it ever comes to that…

Finally it is time for three ladies to present themselves. Livia in her robe suited for priestess of Mitra while Julia and Emilia come across as perfect ladies. Nothing could possibly go wrong. King Conan prepares to listen for three new faces on his court and ponders what brings these three young ladies to his court. Livia points out her devout obedience of Mitra and how it is time to move on towards bonds of holy matrimony. Julia is quick to say that her mother wished her to gain more experiences in Court so she’d be a perfect lady. Whatever rumours there linger of Julia’s scandalous mother they are rapidly forgotten when Emilia starts to stammer that her favourite tree was chopped by her father for no reason what so ever and that she and her new best friends are all so mad about it. As Conan strives to turn Emilia’s thoughts to her future intentions on Court she keeps on telling how holy trees are so important. As crowd murmurs blasphemy towards Mitra Livia starts to think she should distance herself from the whole affair. Emilia keeps on and on her whining that King should send her back home and make her father grow a new tree. However, it comes too late as tired and irritated King Conan is no man to be trifled upon. Julia and Livia slip backwards while waiting for a volcano to erupt but Cimmerian Usurper is quick to notice their feeble attempts. All three little girls shall grow up he declares – in dungeon!

The dark and cold dungeons under the Citadel are well known for their torture chambers and depths of evil its prisoners do. Emilia weeps already the idea of having to spend her night in dark and cold place. Julia accepts the fact that she’ll be done what her father always did to her while Livia trembles in terror remembering what sufferings priestesses of Mitra had endured in hands of serpent worshipping evil Stygians. Thus all three women are lowered to two men deep hole on ground serving as a dungeon at point of a spear. However, much to their relief the dungeons of the Citadel have been divided separately for men and women due orders of Queen Zenobia in her attempts to reinforce some sort of rape control. As far as supper was concerned, the rotten cabbage was poured in through bars. Strangely enough Emilia seemed to like its taste.

The women’s dungeons are –at this time- filled mostly with runaway slaves, picked up street urchins, irritating mad women and few street prostitutes. However, there are also bigger predators like two fierce looking women looking at three girls. It does not take much time until Julie recognizes them as women who lure men to dark alleys for robbing –and murder. In reality they mostly snatch children and steal everything from them up to and including clothes. In darkest slums anything can be sold. The grapevine tattoos in their arms declare them loudly to be harlots with teeth and fists to match. Three girls are robbed blind and left naked on dirty straws in very instant when sunset calls for guards to go to rest for night. They will not close their eyes for a second. Their only –thin- solace is never ending murmuring prayer of Livia.

At sunrise the dungeons are emptied for most of the smaller fish. Girls are –by the orders of Queen Zenobia- amongst these tiniest of catches. Subsequently they are called up and given some kind of rags to cover them as they hurry back to their chambers having learned something. It is from the very bottom of her heart that Livia thanks Mitra for her rescue. She had, during the night, prayed for her rescue on her knees as they all had laughed at her. Well, except Emilia and Julia trembling in corner. This is indeed the very sign that Mitra watches over her and will keep her safe in whatever perils she’ll see in the future!

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[nikita1]

Session 3: Where our heroines make do a perilous adventure in the palace gardens…

After hearty breakfast and enjoying a long hot bath with running water –provided with their servants and slave- three girls ponder their options. Certainly they should not irritate mighty King Conan. However, it does seem as they’d have no friends or allies in the whole Court. Julia thinks Emilia has ruined her chances at first but in court as busy as Aquilonia her mother’s reputation might actually work for her. There are always men looking for young maiden for their bed. Meanwhile Livia is feeling that her heart truly belongs to Mitra more than ever. As a matter of fact she’ll do her utmost to serve Him. Emilia feels miserable but she sees for glimpse of a young girl her age in door as servants run about. She looks Nemedian but it was probably only a good dream…

After dressing whatever they had left it is time to spend their time productively. They all return back to dungeon grounds –this time as noblewomen of power. As prisoners look passively at their betters through the bars of trapdoor they drop as piece of bread for prisoners. The soon following fight over piece of bread shows girls conclusively that all prisoners are truly miserly and evil hoodlums with no good intentions what so ever. It is also highly amusing to see dregs fighting over scraps of food. Then Livia gets an idea and tells prisoners she’ll drop more bread. As hungry dregs gather for rare breakfast Livia drops in a large stone. All three girls giggle as they can hear how bones break and curses and screams below.

How ungrateful they were for this demonstration how happiness must be earned, Livia thinks. She soon presents herself with her name she took as Priestess of Mitra –Agrippina. Thus she starts a sermon of goodness of Mitra and how He sees everything and how people should be happy for their lot and how wicked should be punished –punished severely!

Meanwhile other girls get a great idea for having fun with their servant boy. They send him to pick up some honey for them. Emilia and Julia turn over the beehives by stoning them as boy is pouring honey so he’ll pay the price for bee’s work. As Emilia giggles at crying boy and drinks fresh honey Julia goes away so she’ll not get any bee stings. In one corner of gardens sees a young Nemedian girl sitting in chair and looking about feeling quite bored. Since Julia is bored too they will invent something productive to do. Torturing small animals scurrying about seems perfect solution and much to Julia’s surprise Nemedian girl waves a nasty looking dagger. This allows them to find and open up few small rodents for further examination. Their anatomy lesson seems to point out towards a single fact -they all die when stabbed sooner than later. Both Julie and Nemedian girl giggle as they observe this. Time practically flies as they kill everything they can see.

Ultimately even Agrippina, now again Livia, arrives to gardens meeting Emilia who has been trying to catch various birds unsuccessfully. Yet they all feel most happy when they see blood covered Julia and her new Nemedian friend. Much to their disappointment a bundle of servants arrive to whisker their new friend away just when they are getting along so well. However, she says she’ll be tonight in a big party King and Queen are giving to their new allies from Black Kingdoms. They all agree to meet there…

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[nikita1]

Session 4: Where our heroines make their impression in the Great Court of King Conan the Usurper…

Yet another evening of feverish preparations brings girls ready for a party. Admittedly their beautiful silk dresses are gone but at least they have something to wear –namely the same travelling clothes they had when they arrived. It is better than wearing rags they had earlier this morning. The skills of their servant girl and slave will be tested to utmost on making their hair. See, whenever the hair is almost done mistress will just have to scream it is all wrong and slap their chamber maids about a bit. That grows character and makes them work faster as all proper Aquilonian ladies know.

King Conan’s party is kept on palace gardens. As he greets his new black allies both sides know their eternal alliance will last as long as both sides keep hostages. During the speeches where both sides praise on each other Emilia gets a bright idea of jumping up and down to make sure she is noticed too. Unfortunately to her Julia is on the prowl too twisting her arm behind her and gagging her mouth before Conan notices them. It is simply a matter of self preservation. Livia cannot but agree with Julia.

During the party all three girls go separately. Julia concentrates her mind to suitable husbands -her main prey. Livia moves about looking curiously yet treading cautiously. It is the biggest gathering of people she has ever seen and it is all a huge new world to her. Thankfully her mind is calmed by fact that she earlier told Emilia to move her mind and thoughts to more serious matters -Mitra.

Emilia has gotten yet another great idea. Because she knows she has to think Mitra more seriously she’ll need to discuss about Mercy of Mitra with priests. Subsequently she comes to chat with oldest looking Priest of Mitra she can see – Dexitheus. He has boundless calm –often tested in conversations with short fused King Conan- but this innocent girl child appears to be unsoiled by such evil. How badly his first impression is mistaken as endless array of questions come from Emilia’s boundless mind.

Who creates clouds? Where do they come from? Where do they go for? Are trees hurt when they are chopped down? How badly? How merciful Mitra is? Can He be invisible? Mitra is answer to all just like Livia –who insists to be called Agrippina whenever she wears dress for servant of Mitra- always says.

Dexitheus becomes awfully busy when questions never seem to cease but diplomatically he excuses himself and flees this explosion of questions. Attending more important guests he is somewhat irritated by the fact that Emilia actually follows him and asks more and more. She has also flu –probably due cold night in dungeons- and she sneezes cleaning her nose on his robe. Dexitheus knows that it must be a bad omen for beloved Aquilonia that Court has now a girl even worse than utterly impossible Princess Radegund.

Meanwhile Julie notices the Nemedian girl sitting in corner looking bored and eating apples. They immediately greet each other and start to eat apples. Nemedian has her absolutely gorgeous looking –and expensive Julie notices- jewel studded dagger with her. As both girls giggle for their heart’s content Julie asks from Nemedian of her dagger. She tells her that it is a gift from leader of soldiers. Few days ago she got a great idea that she’ll be a soldier like her older brother and she wore some of his clothes and tried to enlist to Black Dragons telling them she is called Conan (like King and his son). Somehow they were not convinced and Commander of the Black Dragons –man who rules with sword and fire- laughed at her as she was so foolish looking. How could they see through her disguise? Finally he gave her this dagger as a sword to practice until she was older. It is quite good for peeling apples too! Then they both start to amuse themselves by throwing half eaten apples at servants whenever they turn their backs to girls. How halfwits they look when they are hit!

Unfortunately Emilia has noticed that wine that everyone drinks is actually something she should –as a proper young noble lady- also drink. Wine actually tastes bad but she wants to do it more and more and she is quite successful in her work, especially when some men start to pour her more and more. Unfortunately to them Julia notices this and rescues sick Emilia from their clutches and escorts now sick –it must be flu- girl back to their chamber. There she stays tending Emilia who is obviously very sick and just wants to sleep. It also gives her excellent opportunity to steal Emilia’s most precious jewellery -a simple splinter of wood from her once chopped down favourite tree. Then she just carves into its smooth surface Emilia’s name –simple X- and will later say Emilia did it on her own when drunk. That’ll make Emilia weep and it would be so much fun to see!

Meanwhile Livia has been mostly standing alone and just gazing whatever had happened. She was too shy to meet Dexitheus although she is awed by him. However, Nemedian girl is just her age and smiling so Livia goes to see her. They eat apples together and enjoy the party and colourful people all across Aquilonia and barbarian countries from all directions. They no more see Julia or Emilia and Nemedian tells Livia that Emilia got really sick and had to go to sleep so Livia gets a bright idea that they will cheer each other up with good stories.

As servant of Mitra she knows many tales of eternal wisdom and pious rightfulness of Mitra that mothers tell their children. Nemedian has already heard them all, most told by her mother. However, Livia has also heard stories that are intended to not so small children. Stories older priestesses have told to her in dark nights when lightning brings wrath of Mitra closer and smallest girls weep under their beds. Nemedian giggles with bright eyes as Livia tells stories of hacking of evil Stygians to pieces and eternal bloody vengeances of ghosts and goblins hiding in dark cellars and eating small children. Nemedian licks her lips with murderous glee for those stories that are what her father also tells her mother but her mother won’t tell her. Livia agrees that it is just so unfair!

Around that point Nemedian girl’s mother arrives to tell her to go to sleep as evening is turning to a night. Girl excitedly explains to her mother about her new friend Livia. However, mother is none but Queen Zenobia –the highest and noblest of all Aquilonian women. Livia jumps immediately from her chair and curtseys to Queen immaculately yet also pees under her skirt due sheer excitement and nervousness…

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[nikita1]

Session 5: Where our heroines prepare for their very first tournament…

Tournaments are the true embodiment of strong military manhood. It is with uplifted lance and two hard gauntlets where Aquilonian man feels most man like. King and queen are busy in their preparations. Conan wants to make sure that might and right of his Kingdom is seen by all, especially the Nemedians. Zenobia wants to make sure all those of the nobles see the wealth and prosperity of Aquilonia and dare not make a move against its king.

It is also a great opportunity to Princess Radegund and her three new ladies in waiting to observe all things that make tournaments so important social functions. It is also the best possibility to make an impression to a suitable husband candidate. It is after all, talk of the entire court!

Four young ladies spend their time observing festivities and pondering what to do. While all have been in tournaments before this is really the first time they have full opportunity to see it unattended. Thus the days are spent in observing guests to arrive and shopping in city for absolutely vital luxuries no Lady can be without - like new gowns and jewelry- that unmarried women of the Court buy. Thus they must do that too.

They all know that watching boys is the main thing but somehow Emilia cooks up an idea that they should participate somehow in tournament. It sounds like a great idea and Radegund comes immediately with a plot. They will dress up as men and take part in grand melee. Her father and mother will be so proud to see their princess fighting with men like a real soldier in a war! His stupid older brother should also be suitably surprised. Unfortunately Zenobia sees no merit in their plan. She actually forbids it which –as Radegund puts it- has never stopped her before. To make things worse Zenobia insists that Radegund will attend Tournament and not stray on her own or there will be beating she will remember and confinement for rest of her life. Radegund does not mind that as she knows her father will like it. After few hours of feverish thinking (in the broadest sense of the word) four girls come up with a plan that unfolds the very next night…

It all starts in the guard house where Black Dragons are tending yet another night of boring side of soldiering. Sitting and staying awake and daydreaming of beautiful noble ladies they could never get. It is exactly at this hour, the darkest and most perilous moment, that Emilia comes up to guard room door naked. She is holding a big red ball in her hands. Emilia jumps up and down and asks if anyone wants to play “catch me if you can” with her. The she vanishes.

Entire guard room empties itself at speed not even a Stygian surprise attack, gathering of thousand demons and return of Atlantean King Kull could put together. Even the old Ragnar who has no more teeth or left arm finds vigor of youth returning to him as he springs into action. However, Emilia has played this game a lot in her home castle and she heads directly to castle walls. With half a dozen guards with their swords up on hot pursuit she plunges, once again, to moat. Once again the Black Dragons are stopped at the foul revolting stench. Then again, Emilia’s rather eccentric swimming habits (and ideas) are already household gossip in the castle.

Meanwhile the three other young women run across the guard room tasking away the armor and gear they well know Black Dragons wear. Radegund is a real expert in this and they all manage to escape with gear needed for a true soldier and a knight. As guards return they know they know they’ve been fooled and know Captain’s whip will be merciless. However, the door on girl’s room is thick and its bolt strong making further inquiries impossible. They’ll catch Emilia in one of these games and make her a screaming pig and no one will blame them, and they know it. One day they will relish in their vengeance…

At the morning girls are questioned for some time for missing armor but they keep their story that Emilia had a great idea for a game and run away in night. When she jumped off to moat Radegund went to portcullis to demand it to be opened for her friend. As far as armor is concerned, there is none in their room. Little do the guards know that it is kept in a safe place. There is an isolated attic room that is rumored haunted and no servant girl dares to go in –certainly not after the two maids strangled themselves there after been found guilty of stealing and being judged for flogging to death.

With the sun up and Emilia’s red ball missing it is time to daily torture of their servant boy. Emilia wants her red ball back, right now and he has to keep on swimming in the moat until it is found or he will be flogged every day until he does or ball comes up. Then the girls will gather to castle wall to see how boy swims in dirt laughing at him and thinking what an exciting tournament there will be.

The final question left is who will actually wear their armor in battle? Julia is not interested at all. She sees herself as a noble sophisticate socialite who should never get sweaty except between sheets. It could also ruin her face which is the most important asset young lady has. Livia is no good either. The tall and willowy girl comes with her ribs showing out. It is a result of a life dedicated to Mitra with a diet of little honey and plenty of praying. That is also why she liked tending bees as it was much lighter work than tending fields and orchards like other girls did.

Julia suggests that Emilia should take part as a knight and all four giggle at anticipation. It is obvious that she is the strongest of them all as she always wins the pillow wars and ends up beating up other three girls with her fists. It is true. Radegund is strong and healthy girl much like her father but has proven to be simply no match to Emilia in their daily wrestling matches. That is hardly a surprise as Emilia has lived and played in forests and meadows all her life. Thus Emilia it is. Radegund does not like it but since she was part of the plot it means her mother will not beat her to pulp and she’ll have fun time giggling at their plot. This raises her spirits and all four girls look forwards to tournament…

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[DaveNC]

Sounds cool. Definately something different - which is always welcome.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[dbeinfect]

PFFT BAHHAHAAHAHH!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[nikita1]

Session 6: Where our heroines make their first impression as Ladies in Waiting upon beginning of great tournament and its sumptuous festivities…

Tournaments are huge festivities with capital Tarantia filled with knights across the great kingdom of Aquilonia. In order to survive the ordeal girls do their own part to make it happen.

First order of things is becoming a nobleman of suitably high birth. Livia comes up with a great idea that she has a brother who is young enough not to be instantly recognized yet also of suitably high birth to take part in these pursuits. Livia especially stresses her own excellent breeding and lineage like all things Poitainia. Emilia listens to her detailed lineage with keen intellect –or at least appearance of keen intellect.

The trials of tournament are many and difficult to four girls with no real knowledge what actually happens. with few clever maneuvers to lose any adult supervision and accompanied with their servant girls Radegund’s tiny entourage does manage to start their work of making Emilia into a real knight.

The first order of things is naturally Making the Windows. For it is duty of every knight to arrive in good time in tournament and settle for matching honorable establishment. This allows all knights to see which great families have sent their sons to attend the glorious tournament. It allows one to size up the opposition and hone tactics for joust or melee. Livia knows quite naturally her own family crest so they can fulfill the very first requirement by simply making her crest and putting it stand next to a suitable lodging. Unfortunately all brothels large and small have already been filled with good honorable knights across Shamar and Sicas and whatever successful robbers come from Marches of Bossonia. Thus they will have to stick crest to wall of a relatively small tavern in the middle of city.

The second order of things for a tournament is Grand Parade of Introduction. All knights may then walk across the parade and their heralds will tell all the great deeds they have done. King and Queen attend it and Radegund must too. However, Emilia is but one of the ladies in waiting and none shall miss her. The trouble with the parade is that heralds must declare great deeds their masters have done. Thus Livia tries to remember exactly what heroic deeds her brother did explain to her dozen or so times through their journey to Tarantia. Livia has to admit that she did not actually listen to him at all but it was something about Pictish raiders and burning villages.

It is an impossible job for any decent herald to this into anything much do but Radegund’s gold in honey tongued herald’s pocket has a way of making the most weakest of achievements one of great daring. Thus herald will declare Livia’s brother’s great deed of burning a couple of Pict villages as suitable revenge of terrible unspeakable horrors evil Picts did to good and decent folks of Aquilonia. Extra gold bought particularly savage Pictish warlord and rescuing priests of Mitra to spice up the tale. It is pretty standard fare as far as great deeds go but public buys it without question while Emilia walks past pavilion like dozens of other knights. Even Zenobia is happy that her daughter is out of trouble.

Then they have to assign their knight for competition. The grand melee where hundred knights fight on foot seems to be one they all wait. Thus Emilia is pushed by her friends to clutches of particularly vicious robber baron. He is Livia’s distant fourth cousin and his fathers most trusted captain in their campaigns. He also happens to be from Poitainia and gladly helps Livia’s father by taking his son to his ranks. Livia quickly explains that her brother is so quiet because he hit his throat on a sword training and has absolutely terrible sore throat –must be lack of good wine. As far as Emilia is concerned she looks a bit short for a boy –much less a knight- but black armor covers her from head to toe. She also plays –almost naturally- someone stupid and quiet -which perfectly fits the bill of brooding and charismatic Poitainian nobleman.

Robber baron does feel that this peacock is less than he had initially expected for. For one he is so short you think he is but a girl. For second, his swordplay is enthusiastic for sure but very weak. He really fights like a girl when they hack wooden stakes with their swords. He is also too slow and too stupid to really smash and grab his way to victory. No matter how much he screams to this peacock what kind of a woman he is he just cannot seem to shape up. How come such a good and decent knight, a wild boar of a man, got such a limp wrist soft girlie boy as a son? Is he a warrior or wearing a skirt for Mitra’s sake? He has no time for such weaklings but then he notices in audience a silk covered girl with bear claw necklace –Radegund!

There are also two other ladies, family friend Livia and unknown but ravishing beauty Julia also show that this young peacock certainly has supporters. Whatever questions this battle scarred banner knight holds are quickly dissipated as he sees Princess taking personal interest at boy. Robber baron knows where the wind blows towards especially after Livia whispers –with gold in her delicate hand- to him to keep her brother in safety. He knows it is impossible but he can assign the peacock to second line to be rushed to melee when reserves are called. He won’t win but would probably survive with few scars…

He also notices that this Peacock has also a pink silk ribbon tied to his right arm. This came in the morning as girls noticed that it was impossible to recognize Emilia in armor. Thus they put ribbon to help them see where their friend is fighting. It works quite well as other knights generally add such accessories to their armor like skulls or scalps of their dead enemies. Julia has also added a bouquet of red roses to Emilia’s helmet so they’ll see her better as she is so much shorter than other warriors.

Third order of things for a tournament is The Helm Show. Every knight must prove their lineage and right to fight by uncovering their heads and explaining their noble lineage. Of course any knight can refuse this and fight as a black knight without showing his crest. That is something lords too famous or notorious occasionally do. Then again, since everyone is expected to take off their helmet any warrior who can put down the two veteran knights aiding The Helm Show is damn good enough to attend the tournament. Good enough to have a shot at winning it even. Since Emilia would be immediately shown not to be a boy she has no chance to but to fight as a black knight. She is not, however, a match to a knight, much less to a veteran knight and even less to two veteran knights who quickly uncover this fraud.

A great uproar is heard and Emilia will have to bear the indignity of losing her armor and pretty much all her clothes right there in The Helm Show. She runs half naked across the festivities to castle which does bring more weight to rumors that native lords of Tauran are so much affected by wild savages of the Cimmeria in north that they like to run naked in forests too. Another rumor is that they are simply so poor they cannot afford clothes. However, this kind of behavior is not to be expected of noble ladies in good and decent court of King Conan the Usurper.

Pallantides –commander of Black Dragons- is happy to get missing armor back but Dexitheus is certain that Radegund must have had her hand in this foul treachery. After all, she started to claim her innocence even before she was accused. However, once again there is no conclusive proof to allow him to punish that headstrong Nemedian girl properly. However, he’ll watch these four girls like a hawk…

Fourth order of things for a tournament is Feast of Welcome ending a Parade of Prizes. Queen Zenobia has done her best. King Conan the Usurper in his silk and fur comes across as a man of strong sword arm and great wealth. Queen in his side is beautiful and dressed in jewelry enough to ransom a kingdom. Their three children –heirs to great kingdom- all eat in their table showing their nobles King Conan’s tight fisted rule. Their assistants behind them, scheming Dexitheus, brutally effective Trocero and killer elite Pallantides all show that might and right go hand in hand. None of the velvet glove nonsense in this court.

Meanwhile Zenobia can be sure nothing happens as her daughter is entertained with her three ladies in waiting. The first of them is wild Emilia who apparently has no idea of modesty or thought in her pretty little head. However, Emilia is tempered with mercy of Mitra brought with innocence and even judgment of Livia, priestess of Mitra. She’ll be a good friend to Radegund calming girl down. The third of the group is Julia, great beauty, whose court manners are impeccable but family unclear. However, she can be trusted to make sure Radegund knows how to behave in public.

Actually Princess Radegund does not really like to sit through entire banquet in her chair but food is good and she gets all the honey and sugar she wants from kitchen. However, boredom comes quickly to girls giggling on eating too much sugar with strong wine. Thus Julia invents they could put forwards few rumors for fun. They all agree immediately and start to gossip just so loud that servants paid to deliver court gossip can hear them. Emilia starts by saying that she’d seen this woman slipping in the night like a thief. Julia nods and says that she cheats her husband keeping at least two lovers, and one of them is only a stall boy. Livia gives a very stern look at nobles eating at other tables and whispers just too audibly that she is actually pregnant again and it is just so horrible and disgusting. After some time they all can much to their amusement which noblemen start to beat up their wives, especially those too young and good looking.

Official part of the great banquet ends in Parase of Prizes. Much to disappointment of Radegund she cannot go play with them and Zenobia has made it clear she’ll never leave her room if she does. Small army of servants also guards the great prizes. Thus it is time to mingle with the nobles like older girls do. Besides they all are grown ups already. Radegund is particularly good in putting up royal airs whenever necessary.

Emilia quickly notices Dexitheus and goes to talk again with him as she has tons of new questions ranging from why ants have just 6 legs when spiders have 8 to reason why setting sun is red. Surely wise Dexitheus knows answer to that. However, last time was enough and Dexitheus orders a young Priest of Mitra to deal with Emilia so he can concentrate dealing actually important guests. Little does this man know what to say beyond pointing out that it is obviously all Will of Mitra. He has –unfortunately- a job to do and now it means listening to Emilia’s endless word diarrhea and saying endlessly how it is all Will of Mitra. This makes Emilia think that priests of Mitra so wise as they have answer to everything and that priest would be a perfect husband –especially since they are so rich!

Meanwhile Julia goes to chart her prey. Dressed to please she concentrates on dancing all evening. While unavailable for talk she does make a favorable impression. She soon notices at least two men old enough to be her great grandfathers looking at her drooling while holding their hearts in pain. Perfect husbands! However, Julia knows that in her business being a mysterious lady is better than outright selling her wares. What they can’t catch is what they want. And her prize will be steep…

Much to Julia’s annoyance a fair headed young lady makes an impression turning heads too. Julia sees her competitor making airs in a way that Julia knows she must match. Julia’s assets are in her graceful dancing but this lady has a chest Julia can only dream on. She also knows how to accidentally drop her silk scarf to be picked by a chivalrous knight intending on peering her ample neckline. She even unintentionally offers some more. Taking her rightful prey away! Furious Julia promises to make life of that proud harlot miserable in the future. Still it wasn’t total loss. She was away from Emilia and was noticed in a favorable way.

Finally Princess Radegund and Livia go to see what is the big ruckus on hall? Older girls seem to concentrate around a fair headed, tall and young knight for some reason. He is from Poitainia too. If he is popular Radegund must be with him too. She is –after all- a noble lady like her mother and quite capable of carrying out sophisticated discourse like older girls. Thus she and Livia listen to as girls talk about his skill to ride horses until they collapse. As the time goes by it is obvious that he can make mares to truly enjoy riding. He likes to ride hard, hard and heavy.

Radegund listens carefully what the older girls say and when she opens up everyone stops to listen to her. She repeats all the quotes she heard that she likes hard riding and especially hard driving men too. She confidently adds with true enthusiasm that she has plenty of experience on that since she was a little girl in these matters. As a matter of fact her father taught her it, and taught her well, she adds smiling broadly to amazed and obviously impressed older girls who immediately start to whisper. Radegund feels immensely impressed about herself and she can barely wait to tell her mother about this.

Meanwhile Livia readily agrees to that assessment saying that every word is true. She then repeats everything Radegund says to match older girl’s interests. Livia continues with her bright eyes sparkling that she really wants to see a man who can whip his ride to continue even while ride under him is foaming from its mouth. Then she quickly adds to her breathtaking audience that Mitra eternally wise and virtuous. After these pearls of wisdom Livia is approached by another young knight. He asks her something she does not really understand. This is also first time in her life some boy has actually talked to her in a banquet. As Livia does not know what to say she quickly hides behind Radegund’s back. Boy leaves shaking his head. Meanwhile Livia is certain she is now a very popular and most virtuous girl in court…

Finally the fair headed boy has to bid farewell to all ladies. After all, he’ll have to go to stables. He wouldn’t mind tending mares too. Radegund cannot fathom why anyone would be so stupid to go tending horses at this hour when they have servants to do that? Livia cannot but agree that this boy must really like horses. Why he doesn’t like being in banquet with girls? So stupid! Meanwhile many older girls think that it is so late they’ll have to go to sleep early. They soon disappear too.

Radegund and Livia are somewhat annoyed at this turn off events as both are still happy and fresh and ready to continue standing with boys and smile to them. How come they all go to sleep so early while they are old enough to stay up as late as they wish? So silly! After that the girls return to serious business of eating castle empty of sugar. Eventually they are matched with Julia and Emilia who return from their own highly exciting adventures. The discussion continues in girl’s chamber about marriages.

Radegund decides that they must immediately put things moving on marriage front after listening to Emilia’s tale of her discussion with priests of Mitra. Who would be better guide than her father’s most trusted advisor, Dexitheus? Thus she and Emilia slip in their nightgowns and trek through the dark castle to Mitra’s temple to seek spiritual and marital advice.

Emilia jumps on belly of sleeping Dexitheus and proudly proclaims that she will marry a priest now. As Dexitheus sees his worst nightmares coming through Radegund jumps on his neck. She hugs him and says she wants to know a suitable unmarried priest right now too. He can only scream which is a bit of a disappointment to both girls. Perhaps that is his frank way of telling how wonderful news it is that Mitra can now embrace two new ladies as His priestesses?

On related note it was later that night that Dexitheus added an iron lock to his chamber. There is no doubt he did this prudent precaution after seeing the demons threatening him and the sanctity of Mitra’s temple. Such is the wisdom of servants of Mitra!

Meanwhile Julia and Livia sit in their room and think all kinds of happy thoughts about wonderfulness of marriage. They really hope to have husband soon. Thus the talk is about what kind of marriage it should be. Husband must be very rich of course. Livia insists he must be of very high birth and have a family history second to none. Julia seems to prefer husband who is older and even seriously sick. She virtuously accepts that her husband could die any moment after marriage from crippling sickness becoming a widow! For Livia who’d depend on her husband for ever this seems a great sacrifice and her thoughts of Julia grow higher and higher. Such a virtuous maiden! Surely Mitra has blessed her no matter what evil things they talk of her mother!

Then the talk goes to really intimate matters. Livia stares at her toes and confesses with stammering voice and red cheeks that it would be so romantic to have a husband who does not beat his wife on her face in daily basis…

So Ladies in Waiting finished off their perilous adventure. Many more adventures would be ahead of them. These stories would also be told to young maidens of Aquilonia so that they would learn to become good and decent wives…

 

[dbeinfect]

PFFT BHHAAHAHAAHAH :roll:

 

[Strom]

What's with julia? She wants a old sick man:

Julia seems to prefer husband who is older and even seriously sick. She virtuously accepts that her husband could die any moment after marriage from crippling sickness becoming a widow!

Yet in an earlier adventure:

Julia is not interested at all. She sees herself as a noble sophisticate socialite who should never get sweaty except between sheets.

See, I would've made the PC uphold their earlier role description and ruled she would want a younger man who give her her wishes "between the sheets".

Any chance some Picts are gonna show-up soon? Maybe the cook goes crazy with a cleaver? Hope so.

 

[nikita1]

What's with julia? She wants a old sick man:

Julia seems to prefer husband who is older and even seriously sick. She virtuously accepts that her husband could die any moment after marriage from crippling sickness becoming a widow!

Yet in an earlier adventure:

Julia is not interested at all. She sees herself as a noble sophisticate socialite who should never get sweaty except between sheets.

See, I would've made the PC uphold their earlier role description and ruled she would want a younger man who give her her wishes "between the sheets".

Not at all. It is quite obvious actually. She follows her mother's trail as a black widow. Julia's actions are entirely consistent with her character.

On business side Julia wants to have an old and sick husband, preferably with an incurable and debiliating disease. Thus he does not bother her and dies out due her asssitance (or perhaps even naturally) very soon after the wedding making her a rich widow. On pleasure side she wants to have a young and vigorous knight as a lover to enjoy herself. However, as a temple maiden, Livia does not comprehend Julia's true motivations for her choice of ideal husband and thus (naively) assumes that Julia is a devout woman.

Any chance some Picts are gonna show-up soon? Maybe the cook goes crazy with a cleaver? Hope so.

Picts have no role whatsoever in Court of Aquilonia as capital is safe and secure from surprise raids. The difference between blood and thunder and thud and blunder is that these things should happen when it is their due time. I see no reason to put totally unnecessary fights to game to distract the story from flowing fluidly forwards...

 

[Doc Martin]

nikita1, keep up the good work - there are many tales to be told of the Hyborian nations and their neighbours, not all of them end in rivers of blood - I'm loving this.

dbeinfect - what's your point?

 

[Strom]

Not at all. It is quite obvious actually. She follows her mother's trail as a black widow. Julia's actions are entirely consistent with her character.

On business side Julia wants to have an old and sick husband, preferably with an incurable and debiliating disease. Thus he does not bother her and dies out due her asssitance (or perhaps even naturally) very soon after the wedding making her a rich widow. On pleasure side she wants to have a young and vigorous knight as a lover to enjoy herself. However, as a temple maiden, Livia does not comprehend Julia's true motivations for her choice of ideal husband and thus (naively) assumes that Julia is a devout woman.

Thanks for the clarification.

Picts have no role whatsoever in Court of Aquilonia as capital is safe and secure from surprise raids. The difference between blood and thunder and thud and blunder is that these things should happen when it is their due time. I see no reason to put totally unnecessary fights to game to distract the story from flowing fluidly forwards...

Well, this is an adventure right? or is it a story? I was under the assumption it was summary of an adventure in the Conan RPG. One looks for surprises - such as a mad cook who needs putting down - to keep the players on their toes. No river of blood, just some dagger/swordplay. If this is just a story and not a summary of an actual Roleplaying experience then it should go in the fan fiction section, IMO.

 

[dbeinfect]

Gayer than Canada, is my point.

 

[Doc Martin]

Thank you for clearing that up, a fascinating contribution.

 

[tneva82]

Well, this is an adventure right? or is it a story? I was under the assumption it was summary of an adventure in the Conan RPG. One looks for surprises - such as a mad cook who needs putting down - to keep the players on their toes. No river of blood, just some dagger/swordplay. If this is just a story and not a summary of an actual Roleplaying experience then it should go in the fan fiction section, IMO.

Well where does it say every adventure has to involve swordplay?

Seems they are trying somewhat different kind of adventure.

Roleplaying is not equal to hack&slash

 

[Strom]

Well where does it say every adventure has to involve swordplay?

Seems they are trying somewhat different kind of adventure.

Roleplaying is not equal to hack&slash

This is Sparta :!:

This is the Robert E. Howard Conan RPG! There are responsibilities to attempt to emulate his storytelling. Otherwise just play StoryQuest or Parleymaster. If you haven't read the stories yet please do - you will not be disappointed.

Anyway, I was just requesting and hoping some action would happen soon. Nothing wrong with that. I even provided a sample encounter with the cook that would work within the already established setting. Howard fans tend to enjoy bloody axes and severed tentacles - otherwise we would be on the Wheel of Time forum. :lol: