alex_greene
Guest
I was looking at the news recently, and I found myself wondering "How would XYZ be useful as a Patron?"
For the most part, I could not imagine a big name mover and shaker like a political party leader or television news anchor ever being a Patron. But then I thought of something else, that made me want to write it down.
Schmucks. The opposite of Patrons.
So what is a Schmuck?
A Schmuck is not a Rival. The Schmuck does not want what the characters want. There's plenty of room for everyone in the Schmuck's world, and if it came down to the wire the Schmuck is likely to want to wander off and annoy somebody else today rather than face down the characters in combat.
A Schmuck is not an Enemy. The Schmuck really does not care one way or the other about the characters. Live, die, lose face, both limbs, bladder control - it's all the same to the Schmuck. The characters are beneath their notice.
A Schmuck could be an Ally or a Contact - in fact, Referees, I urge you to ensure they they become such to the player characters. Nothing will delight you more than the looks on the players' faces when you tell them "I'm afraid all your regular Allies and Contacts have deserted you. There's only one comm that's answered your calls. Yes, it's [XYZ], the Schmuck. "Only me!"
So why should the player characters have to tolerate Schmucks?
1] Necessity. The Schmuck claims that he has one vital clue that will break the case for the characters. They cannot, by any means, force this information from the Schmuck. They'll have to jump through the hoops the Schmuck lays down for them ... and then (roll 1d6):-
1: The Schmuck is honest, and gives the players the information they need ...
2: ... but it's something so trivial that they should have been able to work it out for themselves.
3: The Schmuck is not content with humiliating the player characters once. He invites a friend along and makes them repeat whatever ritual humiliation he perpetrated on them the first time, so the friend can watch.
4: The Schmuck wants to record every living detail of their humiliation.
5. The player characters' ritual humiliation gets widecast as a viral.
6. The Schmuck didn't actually have the information. He just wants to see the characters squirm, before chuckling and saying "I lied!"
2] Legality: The Schmuck is protected by the local laws, and he knows it. If they so much as lay a finger on the Schmuck in anger, the law will come down on them, hard. Confiscation of their ship, fines or even imprisonment could result. And the Schmuck will demand heavy compensation for any injuries sustained. Furthermore, somehow, Schmucks always have the comm numbers of the very best lawyers, all of them Schmucks themselves ...
3] Office: What's worse than a Schmuck? A Schmuck with a badge. Cops, traffic wardens, ta inspectors, Customs officials and any number of petty bureaucrats with a rank, a peaked cap and a grudge qualify for this job. To the characters' chagrin, they have to deal with these Schmucks. It's the law.
4] Connections: A Schmuck is bad. A Schmuck who has the local gang boss on speed dial on her comm, listed under "Son" is worse. Mess with this Schmuck, and you're signing up for a world of pain.
5] Sheer Dumb Luck: Somehow, the Schmuck appears to be indestructible. In the middle of a firefight, he nver gets hit: if there's a bomb nearby, it doesn't go off until the Schmuck has wandered out of the blast radius. Maybe it's a loose wire or the clock battery died. In any case, the device doesn't even go fizzle.
Yes, that means that if it's one the characters planted it might never go off as long as the Schmuck's around, meaning that the Schmuck ends up as the bad guys' unofficial protection.
Gaining A Schmuck During Character Generation: Referee, instead of an Enemy or a Rival, you can create a Schmuck instead. Use the same statistics you would use for such an NPC - 760 Patrons and 1001 Characters are ideal resources - only inform your players of your decision to make the rolled Rival or Enemy into a Schmuck instead. The Antagonist Patrons, roughly half of the 760 Patrons book, are born to be made into Schmucks already, but that would be too easy.
Try and see how you can make the Protagonist Patrons into Schmucks instead.
Go. Have fun playing with your new Schmucks.
For the most part, I could not imagine a big name mover and shaker like a political party leader or television news anchor ever being a Patron. But then I thought of something else, that made me want to write it down.
Schmucks. The opposite of Patrons.
So what is a Schmuck?
A Schmuck is not a Rival. The Schmuck does not want what the characters want. There's plenty of room for everyone in the Schmuck's world, and if it came down to the wire the Schmuck is likely to want to wander off and annoy somebody else today rather than face down the characters in combat.
A Schmuck is not an Enemy. The Schmuck really does not care one way or the other about the characters. Live, die, lose face, both limbs, bladder control - it's all the same to the Schmuck. The characters are beneath their notice.
A Schmuck could be an Ally or a Contact - in fact, Referees, I urge you to ensure they they become such to the player characters. Nothing will delight you more than the looks on the players' faces when you tell them "I'm afraid all your regular Allies and Contacts have deserted you. There's only one comm that's answered your calls. Yes, it's [XYZ], the Schmuck. "Only me!"
So why should the player characters have to tolerate Schmucks?
1] Necessity. The Schmuck claims that he has one vital clue that will break the case for the characters. They cannot, by any means, force this information from the Schmuck. They'll have to jump through the hoops the Schmuck lays down for them ... and then (roll 1d6):-
1: The Schmuck is honest, and gives the players the information they need ...
2: ... but it's something so trivial that they should have been able to work it out for themselves.
3: The Schmuck is not content with humiliating the player characters once. He invites a friend along and makes them repeat whatever ritual humiliation he perpetrated on them the first time, so the friend can watch.
4: The Schmuck wants to record every living detail of their humiliation.
5. The player characters' ritual humiliation gets widecast as a viral.
6. The Schmuck didn't actually have the information. He just wants to see the characters squirm, before chuckling and saying "I lied!"
2] Legality: The Schmuck is protected by the local laws, and he knows it. If they so much as lay a finger on the Schmuck in anger, the law will come down on them, hard. Confiscation of their ship, fines or even imprisonment could result. And the Schmuck will demand heavy compensation for any injuries sustained. Furthermore, somehow, Schmucks always have the comm numbers of the very best lawyers, all of them Schmucks themselves ...
3] Office: What's worse than a Schmuck? A Schmuck with a badge. Cops, traffic wardens, ta inspectors, Customs officials and any number of petty bureaucrats with a rank, a peaked cap and a grudge qualify for this job. To the characters' chagrin, they have to deal with these Schmucks. It's the law.
4] Connections: A Schmuck is bad. A Schmuck who has the local gang boss on speed dial on her comm, listed under "Son" is worse. Mess with this Schmuck, and you're signing up for a world of pain.
5] Sheer Dumb Luck: Somehow, the Schmuck appears to be indestructible. In the middle of a firefight, he nver gets hit: if there's a bomb nearby, it doesn't go off until the Schmuck has wandered out of the blast radius. Maybe it's a loose wire or the clock battery died. In any case, the device doesn't even go fizzle.
Yes, that means that if it's one the characters planted it might never go off as long as the Schmuck's around, meaning that the Schmuck ends up as the bad guys' unofficial protection.
Gaining A Schmuck During Character Generation: Referee, instead of an Enemy or a Rival, you can create a Schmuck instead. Use the same statistics you would use for such an NPC - 760 Patrons and 1001 Characters are ideal resources - only inform your players of your decision to make the rolled Rival or Enemy into a Schmuck instead. The Antagonist Patrons, roughly half of the 760 Patrons book, are born to be made into Schmucks already, but that would be too easy.
Try and see how you can make the Protagonist Patrons into Schmucks instead.
Go. Have fun playing with your new Schmucks.
@FreeTrav You'll get something. I'll let you know.
