Sandy - Central defender. Tall, balding, and burly, the central defender makes for a good target for corners and free kicks, typically bouncing the ball from the forehead, towards either net. Plenty of attitude, tinged with an apathy, that allows for some quintessential Donkeying (booting the ball unessarily hard into touch). Quite like his TV counterpart the Defender is likely to have a reputation for wearing bones (typically the oppositions knee caps). Likely to have done time, and likely to have more cards than hallmark at christmas :twisted:
Monkey - Midfield. Capable in attack and defence, as well as making brutal challanges and pleading innocent (despite the fact the UN is offering to go in). All over the pitch, and constantly berated by less active forwards for not supplying a perfect ball, despite having being under pressure by the enemy, and having played a perfect ball to where the striker was supposed to have been. The strikers are a constant headache to the midfielder. Likely to unleash a leathal challenge, that will get them sent off (and possibly arrested). Good in the air, with an eye for victory over glory. :twisted:
Pigsy - Gascoine Supersub - Like the famed England player, Pigsy is out of form, lazy and has troubles with drink, food and women. Despite being one of the most qualified players around, these temptations will lead to a life on the bench, and a dream of long past glories. Typically will come on, play for 15 minutes and get taken off on a stretcher. Occassionally will show flare for which he was famed before spending the rest of the game being carried by the other 11. :twisted:
Tripitaka - Player Manager - Striker. The Striker typically makes little apperace or contribution to the game, only coming into play when the otherside is on the ropes, typically by either putting the ball impossibly wide, from 6 yards, or by waiting on the front line, before straying offside. Typically the Striker has no appreciable knowledge of the rules, and will come up with the strangest excuses for being repeatedly offside. :twisted: