Conan the Barbarian -- Really good for it's time and place. Subotai RULES!
Conan the Destroyer -- Cheesy fun when you're in the right mood. I'm rarely in this mood.
Conan the Cartoon -- Oh, yeah. I think I heard about that once. Maybe twice.
Conan the TV Show -- Rolf Moeller is a scary steroid monsterman. He did a good job... in Gladiator.
WARNING: Never ever EVER do a back-to-back double-feature of the two films. When juxtaposed together the flaws in both are highlighted to brain-searing intensity. You *will* take a Sanity hit. 1d4 MINIMUM.
Re: Destroyer -- But, MAN, I love watching Wilt 'The Stilt' dish out those massive mace swings at the relatively tiny Arnie. *That's* your Power Attack feat, yessir!
CtB was really a good flick, IMHO. Arnie did a good job as a naive young barbarian in civilization, though he was a bit whiny for my taste. James Earl Jones was a tremendous bad guy.
CtD was cheesy, plain and simple, but it was fun in its own way. I ran my PC's through the plot, with a few changes, and they liked it. Plus, the notion of Wilt Chamberlain being charged with protecting the virginity of a Playboy model just makes me laugh every time. CtD was much more of a D&D-style 'adventuring party' movie than CtB.
Never saw the live-action series, though I can imagine how much it must have sucked, like almost every other live-action fantasy or sci-fi series in the history of mankind.
The cartoon was stupid. I only saw a few episodes, but one line stands out in my head: Conan refusing a bath, saying "My mother dipped me in snowmelt from Crom's mountain once a year whether I needed it or not." This made me cringe, literally.
The cartoon was stupid. I only saw a few episodes, but one line stands out in my head: Conan refusing a bath, saying "My mother dipped me in snowmelt from Crom's mountain once a year whether I needed it or not."
Yeah, I have an easy solution to those types. I tell them to get their stank-ass selves away from my nostrils. Oh, the wonders of being physically intimidating We had a guy on my high school football team like this as well. Our solution was to throw him and his gear into the showers along with some soap and shampoo. We wouldn't let him out until he'd proven that he knew the proper use of the aforementioned cleaning products. Too bad you can't do that with stinky people on the street, eh?
Still it reminds me of a Something Positive comic wherein PeeJee sprays an over-affectionate geek with pepper spray, at which point the geek screams, "It burns! It burns like hygiene!" :lol: