[ACTA:SF HUMOR] To help lighten up the mood here...

B

billclo

Mongoose
I wanted to start a thread where we can get all silly about the game. It's been far too serious around here lately. :(

I'll start:

I want to introduce a new weapon to ACTA:SF that is used by both the Kzinti and Lyrans, called the Catnip Torpedo. If it successfully hits the target, make a Crew Quality Check of 9. If if the target ships fails the check, it cannot conduct Special Actions for 1d6 turns, due to the crew being distracted and being "high" from the specially crafted Catnip fumes...

It was developed during one of the early Lyran/Kzinti wars, and despite being widely decried as a dastardly weapon of chemical warfare, it's use continues to this day. It can be surmised that both sides actually like being on the receiving end of the weapon, despite the havoc it can play on crew efficiency.

It may be fired one per turn from the ship's Probe launcher, or from Kzinti drone launchers (max use 4 times per ship per battle).
 
OK, i'll bite

Special rule for gorn boarding parties. If successful, instead of the standard effect, the Gorn player rolls on the following table.

1, - Enemy play hide and seek. :- the Raiding party can't find the enemy, as they are too cowardly and hide from them, ambushing the raiders and then running away. This results in other raiders joining the hunt. The raiding party is lost, and a second raiding party (if used) is forced to re-roll (attackers choice).

2-3, - Ah, finally, there you are. :- the raiding party locate the enemy, and engage in combat with them. The resulting fight causes the raiding party to get distracted and allow themselves to be trapped - good fight though. The raiding party is lost.

4, - A good fight. :- the raiding party locate and engage a unit of the target ships marines, forgetting the actual target in the joy of battle. The raiding party returns to it's ship, but has no effect on the target ship.

5, - We are victorious. :- the raiding party engages with the enemy whilst successfully carrying out it's mission. The target ship either receives one random critical, or a crew critical (attackers choice)

6, - Great Hunt. :- by releasing wild Lemming before the raiding party transport over, the aggressiveness of the raiding party is increased and the hunt takes over. The raiding party causes one random critical AND kills one troop point. If the target vessel has no troop points left, it will instead take one crew critical. The raiding party rolls one die, being destroyed in the joy of combat on 1-3, and returning to there ship on a 4-6.
 
Gorn Turn Score decreases to 9 for all ships if more than 40 AU from any primary, reaction slower as blood cools. Initiative decreased to -2 if within the orbit of the closest planet to any primary. Simulates surprise while they sun themselves. :lol:
 
:lol: :roll: I heard that the Catnip Torpedo was invented by the Carnivon in the final days before their extermination. As the story goes the Klingons found out about the development of it and stole the designs and destroyed the production facilities there by sealing the fate of the Carnivons. Rumor has it that the Klingons have a massive stockpile of these weapons just in case the Kzintis and Lyrans stop killing each other long enough to realise they can vastly expand their territory ( at the Klingons expense) if they work together.
 
Tribble Transport Device:

Developed by an enterprising Orion scientist, it can be used against the Federation or Klingons.

It requires a transport action, and is beamed onboard the target ship, in place of Marines.

If used against the Federation, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is coo-ing and playing with the irresistibly cute creatures. The effect lasts until the ship makes an unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10. During the next turn the ship must use the Transport Marines and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles. During the End Phase of a turn that the ship is still infested, the ship makes a random 45 degree turn to reflect Navigator inattention - Roll 1d6, a result of 1-3 the ship turns left, 4-6 the ship turns right. In the meantime, the ship may fire weapons but all fire has a -2 modifier.

If used against the Klingons, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is quaking in fear, and is very distracted by the mere presence of those "furry things". The ship stops and makes no further moves or turns until the infestation is removed from the ship. Make a unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10 during the End Phase. The infestation is removed upon making 2 successful Crew Quality Checks of 10. Once the second check is passed, the ship must use the Transport Marines in it's next turn and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles.In the meantime, the ship may fire no offensive weapons, and defensive fire is at a -2.

The weapon may be used against other races, but will be ineffective.
 
billclo said:
Tribble Transport Device:

Developed by an enterprising Orion scientist, it can be used against the Federation or Klingons.

It requires a transport action, and is beamed onboard the target ship, in place of Marines.

If used against the Federation, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is coo-ing and playing with the irresistibly cute creatures. The effect lasts until the ship makes an unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10. During the next turn the ship must use the Transport Marines and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles. During the End Phase of a turn that the ship is still infested, the ship makes a random 45 degree turn to reflect Navigator inattention - Roll 1d6, a result of 1-3 the ship turns left, 4-6 the ship turns right. In the meantime, the ship may fire weapons but all fire has a -2 modifier.

If used against the Klingons, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is quaking in fear, and is very distracted by the mere presence of those "furry things". The ship stops and makes no further moves or turns until the infestation is removed from the ship. Make a unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10 during the End Phase. The infestation is removed upon making 2 successful Crew Quality Checks of 10. Once the second check is passed, the ship must use the Transport Marines in it's next turn and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles.In the meantime, the ship may fire no offensive weapons, and defensive fire is at a -2.

The weapon may be used against other races, but will be ineffective.
Click to expand...


I love this...
 
The time to be afraid will be when Mongoose introduce the rules for legendary admirals. I hear the Gorn admiral will be purple skinned...
 
The Federation admiral has the ability to snatch victory out of the jaws of any dire defeat due to the 'over acting' trait if deployed on NCC 1701.
 
billclo said:
Tribble Transport Device:

Developed by an enterprising Orion scientist, it can be used against the Federation or Klingons.

It requires a transport action, and is beamed onboard the target ship, in place of Marines.

If used against the Federation, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is coo-ing and playing with the irresistibly cute creatures. The effect lasts until the ship makes an unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10. During the next turn the ship must use the Transport Marines and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles. During the End Phase of a turn that the ship is still infested, the ship makes a random 45 degree turn to reflect Navigator inattention - Roll 1d6, a result of 1-3 the ship turns left, 4-6 the ship turns right. In the meantime, the ship may fire weapons but all fire has a -2 modifier.

If used against the Klingons, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is quaking in fear, and is very distracted by the mere presence of those "furry things". The ship stops and makes no further moves or turns until the infestation is removed from the ship. Make a unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10 during the End Phase. The infestation is removed upon making 2 successful Crew Quality Checks of 10. Once the second check is passed, the ship must use the Transport Marines in it's next turn and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles.In the meantime, the ship may fire no offensive weapons, and defensive fire is at a -2.

The weapon may be used against other races, but will be ineffective.
Click to expand...

Yes, I believe this was based on similar technology as the Kzinti Fur Ball launcher. Of course it's limited to post grooming employement.
 
billclo said:
Tribble Transport Device:

Developed by an enterprising Orion scientist, it can be used against the Federation or Klingons.

It requires a transport action, and is beamed onboard the target ship, in place of Marines.

If used against the Federation, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is coo-ing and playing with the irresistibly cute creatures. The effect lasts until the ship makes an unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10. During the next turn the ship must use the Transport Marines and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles. During the End Phase of a turn that the ship is still infested, the ship makes a random 45 degree turn to reflect Navigator inattention - Roll 1d6, a result of 1-3 the ship turns left, 4-6 the ship turns right. In the meantime, the ship may fire weapons but all fire has a -2 modifier.

If used against the Klingons, the crew is treated as 2 levels below normal as the crew is quaking in fear, and is very distracted by the mere presence of those "furry things". The ship stops and makes no further moves or turns until the infestation is removed from the ship. Make a unmodified Crew Quality Check of 10 during the End Phase. The infestation is removed upon making 2 successful Crew Quality Checks of 10. Once the second check is passed, the ship must use the Transport Marines in it's next turn and drop a shield so it may beam away the infesting Tribbles.In the meantime, the ship may fire no offensive weapons, and defensive fire is at a -2.

The weapon may be used against other races, but will be ineffective.
Click to expand...

When used against the Gorn a single Plasma weapon of the Gorns choice cannot be fired the following turn as it is being used to plasma roast the tribbles for snacks :lol:
 
New special action: Phaser Pointer.
Nominate a phaser which is in range and arc of an enemy Kzinti or Lyran ship. Roll an opposed CQ check. If successful, rotate the target ship by up to 45 degrees as it tries to chase the beam. If the check fails by 2 or more and the ship attempting the special action is itself Kzinti or Lyran, the opposing player may rotate the ship by up to 45 degrees as it tries to chase its own beam. The phaser may not be used for any other purpose this turn.


New special action: Give Me Ramming Speed.
A Federation ship may attempt to ram a Klingon ship. First a CQ check of 9+ is required. If successful, the ship's speed is increased by 50%. If it can then move into contact with an enemy ship, it may attempt to ram. Roll an opposed CQ check. If the Federation ship is successful, the player must then sing "There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, ram them now!" before rolling half his ship's damage rating as AD with the traits Accurate and Multihit 3. The Klingon player also rolls half his ship's damage rating as AD with the same traits against the Federation ship. If the Federation player fails to sing, the Klingon ship automatically evades the attack.
 
scoutdad said:
Yes... the Angry Condor was mine... sorry, I couldn't resist... 8)
Click to expand...
Don't apologise! I thought it was you but wasn't certain - thanks for claiming the credit. :)

Skullduggery said:
Guilty of the first one :mrgreen: That is my fleet name in our campaign.
http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i173/Skullyweb/th_kz1.jpg
Click to expand...
Superb!

Now, who's going to retaliate and build the Lyran one? :twisted:
 
There's only a slight problem with using catnip vs. Kzintis. It is well established that parsley is what sets them off. It is a controlled substance off Earth ...

"Poor Cat Who Sees Pink Mice. He's gone on a tourist visa to Dirt ... Earth and he's rooting around in the trash bins behind restaurants. He heard that it is commonly served as a condiment, but Humans toss out their parsley!"
 
parsley cannon:

Dear Webmom (Jean),
we wish to inform you that anything you may have heard pretaining to parsley or a parsley cannon is unfounded and should be disregarded (what do you mean she did not say anything about the cannon ? oops.)

never mind
 
I, for one, welcome our new Kzinti overlords:

Asobi%20Crew.jpg
 
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