I am General Hash, supreme master of all things black and shiny, none so black and none so shiny as these my prize collection of Shadow Ships. Behold the pride of my fleet, two Shadow Ships with two Scouts in escort for a grand total of 5 battle points.
This imbecile, known as Burger, claimed his crude 2-D card Minbari starships could defeat my mighty metal fleet. As need not be said, I was going to make him suffer for his defiance. Behold the Minbari fleet...a sentimental replica of a line of miniatures (soon to be) long since vanished from this planet.
Our fleets were deployed across the vastness of space...we generated terrain but, in keeping with the spirit of 2-D vs. 3-D we used flat recreations of asteroid fields and dust clouds...only we ran out so had to use Burger's coasters too...
This writing is beginning to bore me so I shall summarise the action. In a cunning series of maneovers, the Shadows weaved their way through clouds and asteroids whilst the foolish Minbari did their best to follow suit.
In a bold move, the Shadows seized an opportunity to fire first...only to lose 1 Ship and 1 Scout in the process, with minimal Minbari causalities...could it be that somehow this upstart would challenge me, General Hash, the greatest Shadow mind of our generation?!
No. As you can see my clever ruse allowed all the Minbari to gather in a single asteroid field and promptly allow me to use my Molecular Slicers on the remaining ship to destroy a single Minbari vessel. This chained a series of explosions - causing the Leshath scouts to explode in turn and crippling the remaining Minbari vessels. It was then child's play to mop up the remaining resistance. I win...I always win, is there no-one on these forums to even challenge me?!
I grew weary of Burger's attempts to convince me that my victory was simply due to luck and I should try his dice less version of ACTA. I contemplated destroying both him and his pathetic paper ships with my eye lasers to mark my victory complete but I decided on a more fitting punishment.
I have banished this so called "Burger" to the Phantom Zone...forever. Today begins a new order...
