G'Naakbusters
Emperor Mongoose
Everyone on the moon enjoyed meat quite a lot
But the Steppelord ruling below them did NOT!
The K’kree hated it, the whole hunting season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that they were too self-involved,
It could be, perhaps, it was how they evolved.
But I think that the answer most easy
May have been that their stomachs were slightly too queasy.
The Steppelord couldn't stand their impunity
As he stood on Kirur, glaring up at the moon-city
For he knew every verminous lifeform above
Was busy now, killing and splattering blood
"And they're roasting their dinners!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Next could be us! They're practically here!"
Then he snorted, his four hooves nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop vermin from munching!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the alien creatures,
Would carve up the turkey, those horrid meat-eaters.
G’naak, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on blood pudding, and rare broiled beast.
Which was something K’kree couldn't stand in the least!
And the more that he thought of this vast gluttoning,
The more the ‘lord thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for thousands of years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop the blood-splattered munching! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
"All I need is a navy!" The Steppelord looked ‘round.
But, since navies are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Centaurs? They simply said,
"If we can't find a warfleet, we’ll make one instead!"
Then they loaded some bombs, and a whole lot of guns,
On a ramshackle rocket, and aimed at the sun
Then the Centaurs took off, and the taskforce descended,
On the moon where the vermin were rapidly ended.
"This is stop number one," the Steppelord declared,
"This'll teach them to serve food medium rare!"
And he roared that for vermin ‘twas no place to hide,
when they bombed the whole moon in a great genocide.
The moon-haunting monsters were quickly brought low,
"These vermin are only the first ones to go!
"And NOW!" said the Steppelord, "crusading begins!"
And the herd went a’trampling, and stomped many things.
Then the Steppelord, he met with quite the conniver
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Hiver.
It stared at the Steppelord and said, "Tell me why,”
"Why are you adamant people must die?
It’s not very interesting, rather unpleasant”
And the Hiver decided to give him a present.
The Steppelord was tempted; "I really must know".
Thus it started with one. Then it started to grow.
And the taste wasn't bad! Why, it made him quite merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS pleasant! VERY!
And the Steppelord was sweating, and made quite a fuss
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be thus?"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Steppelord thought something he hadn't before!
"Maybe”, he thought, “I’ve been a bit hasty.
"Just maybe, meat sauce... is a little bit tasty.”
And what happened then? Well, on Guaran they say,
That the Centaurs’ taste greatly improved on that day!
And the minute his heart pulled out of its slump,
The 'lord brought his starfleet back into jump,
And he brought back the dinner! The food for the feast!
And he, the Steppelord himself, carved the beast!
But the Steppelord ruling below them did NOT!
The K’kree hated it, the whole hunting season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that they were too self-involved,
It could be, perhaps, it was how they evolved.
But I think that the answer most easy
May have been that their stomachs were slightly too queasy.
The Steppelord couldn't stand their impunity
As he stood on Kirur, glaring up at the moon-city
For he knew every verminous lifeform above
Was busy now, killing and splattering blood
"And they're roasting their dinners!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Next could be us! They're practically here!"
Then he snorted, his four hooves nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop vermin from munching!"
For tomorrow, he knew, all the alien creatures,
Would carve up the turkey, those horrid meat-eaters.
G’naak, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on blood pudding, and rare broiled beast.
Which was something K’kree couldn't stand in the least!
And the more that he thought of this vast gluttoning,
The more the ‘lord thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for thousands of years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop the blood-splattered munching! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
"All I need is a navy!" The Steppelord looked ‘round.
But, since navies are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the Centaurs? They simply said,
"If we can't find a warfleet, we’ll make one instead!"
Then they loaded some bombs, and a whole lot of guns,
On a ramshackle rocket, and aimed at the sun
Then the Centaurs took off, and the taskforce descended,
On the moon where the vermin were rapidly ended.
"This is stop number one," the Steppelord declared,
"This'll teach them to serve food medium rare!"
And he roared that for vermin ‘twas no place to hide,
when they bombed the whole moon in a great genocide.
The moon-haunting monsters were quickly brought low,
"These vermin are only the first ones to go!
"And NOW!" said the Steppelord, "crusading begins!"
And the herd went a’trampling, and stomped many things.
Then the Steppelord, he met with quite the conniver
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Hiver.
It stared at the Steppelord and said, "Tell me why,”
"Why are you adamant people must die?
It’s not very interesting, rather unpleasant”
And the Hiver decided to give him a present.
The Steppelord was tempted; "I really must know".
Thus it started with one. Then it started to grow.
And the taste wasn't bad! Why, it made him quite merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS pleasant! VERY!
And the Steppelord was sweating, and made quite a fuss
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be thus?"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Steppelord thought something he hadn't before!
"Maybe”, he thought, “I’ve been a bit hasty.
"Just maybe, meat sauce... is a little bit tasty.”
And what happened then? Well, on Guaran they say,
That the Centaurs’ taste greatly improved on that day!
And the minute his heart pulled out of its slump,
The 'lord brought his starfleet back into jump,
And he brought back the dinner! The food for the feast!
And he, the Steppelord himself, carved the beast!