Supplement Four
Mongoose
I just finished re-watching Conan The Destroyer. I haven't seen it in years--not since I saw it at the flicks back in the 80's. I remember back then thinking, "Man, what a crappy flick. Why can't they put out a good quality Swords & Sorcery movie?" Of course, this was pre-Lord of the Rings (not that LotR is S&S).
In re-watching it, all these years later, I'm surprised that I actually liked it more than I remembered. Sure, it's still a crappy movie, but my recollection was that the entire film was crappy. Upon my newer inspection, I find that's really not the case. Most of the movie ain't bad. Most of the sets and locations are pretty well presented. In fact, I don't remember the film being that good.
The problem with this film is that, when it bombs, it really bombs. And when I say that most of the sets and locations look good, I mean it, but the trouble is that the scenes that look like crap are key to the plot.
The entire Thoth-Amon sequence looks like it was taken out of a movie with a $12 budget and grafted onto this otherwise decent Conan yarn. That whole section is worse than bad. It's ultra low budget looking crap.
And, then the big climax scene with Conan fighting the Dagoth monster. Man, what crap! It shouldn't have been in the film.
Take those parts out (how can you? They're key to the story), or change them to look better, and all of a sudden, Conan The Destroyer is a better movie. Not a great movie. Not a movie as good as its predecessor. But, a decent movie. A better movie than what it is.
There are basically 7 parts to this movie:
I. Intro - where we find Conan praying for Valeria (Conan? Praying?), and he is attacked by Queen Taramis and her guard. The fighting and overall presentation actually ain't bad, given that it was shot in the 80's. And, it seems to be a good continuation of the adventures started in the first film.
I'd like to know what happened to Subotai, though. I don't think he would have left Conan's side. I wonder if they producers couldn't get Gerry Lopez to reprise his role and went with the Malak character instead.
In the original script that was discarded between revolving producers and directors (the script that became the Conan The Barbarian Horn of Azoth graphic novel), Subotai is caught as a thief and hanged, not unlike a certain Gunderman in one of the REH fragments.
II. Shadizar - Where Conan gets his mission. The city and the Throne Room look great. The story is so-so, generic fantasy stuff. Servicable. And, although breaking canon everywhere it turns, the situations do at least feel like a Howard Conan tale.
III. Travel to the mage's Castle to get the Heart. The scenes where Grace Jones' Zula character meets Conan for the first time are, for me, the highlights of the movie. Grace Jones does a superb job, and her character's introduction is excellent. Top notch.
IV. At Thoth-Amon's Castle of Illusion. From the time Conan and his part leave the shore in the boat to the moment that they leave Thoth-Amon's castle, I felt like I was watching a completely different film. It is like you're watching a decent Conan yarn but somebody changes the DVD and makes you watch Roger Corman's cheapest fantasy film. The stuff in these scenes are gawd awful. All of it needs to be taken out of the film with...something better...re-cut into the film. Thoth-Amon not being a Stygian is the least of this sequence's problems. The sets are cheesy. The monster is cheesy (but reminescent of Thak from Rogues in the House. The entire section will have anybody roll their eyes.
V. Travel to the tomb to get the Horn/Battle with Shadizar Guard. Not bad. Some attempt at humor and subplot is made. We're still recovering from the crap we saw at Thoth's-Amom. But, there is some character development.
VI. At the Tomb. To my surprise, the Tomb actually looks decent. After seeing Thoth-Amon's crystal castle in the lake, I didn't know what to expect, but what I did expect wasn't good. The scene where the two mages pit their magics against each other could have been better, but it was acceptible.
VII. Shadizar and the climax. And, the climax is OK, except for one thing. The monster-Dagon is truly, utterly, laughable. And because the Throne Room and the rest of the sequence looks pretty good, it is jolting to cut to this awful man-in-a-rubber-suit.
Yeah, if you can somehow improve the Thoth-Amon sequence and the Dagon fight at the end, the film would gain a full star or two in many people's reveiw.
In re-watching it, all these years later, I'm surprised that I actually liked it more than I remembered. Sure, it's still a crappy movie, but my recollection was that the entire film was crappy. Upon my newer inspection, I find that's really not the case. Most of the movie ain't bad. Most of the sets and locations are pretty well presented. In fact, I don't remember the film being that good.
The problem with this film is that, when it bombs, it really bombs. And when I say that most of the sets and locations look good, I mean it, but the trouble is that the scenes that look like crap are key to the plot.
The entire Thoth-Amon sequence looks like it was taken out of a movie with a $12 budget and grafted onto this otherwise decent Conan yarn. That whole section is worse than bad. It's ultra low budget looking crap.
And, then the big climax scene with Conan fighting the Dagoth monster. Man, what crap! It shouldn't have been in the film.
Take those parts out (how can you? They're key to the story), or change them to look better, and all of a sudden, Conan The Destroyer is a better movie. Not a great movie. Not a movie as good as its predecessor. But, a decent movie. A better movie than what it is.
There are basically 7 parts to this movie:
I. Intro - where we find Conan praying for Valeria (Conan? Praying?), and he is attacked by Queen Taramis and her guard. The fighting and overall presentation actually ain't bad, given that it was shot in the 80's. And, it seems to be a good continuation of the adventures started in the first film.
I'd like to know what happened to Subotai, though. I don't think he would have left Conan's side. I wonder if they producers couldn't get Gerry Lopez to reprise his role and went with the Malak character instead.
In the original script that was discarded between revolving producers and directors (the script that became the Conan The Barbarian Horn of Azoth graphic novel), Subotai is caught as a thief and hanged, not unlike a certain Gunderman in one of the REH fragments.
II. Shadizar - Where Conan gets his mission. The city and the Throne Room look great. The story is so-so, generic fantasy stuff. Servicable. And, although breaking canon everywhere it turns, the situations do at least feel like a Howard Conan tale.
III. Travel to the mage's Castle to get the Heart. The scenes where Grace Jones' Zula character meets Conan for the first time are, for me, the highlights of the movie. Grace Jones does a superb job, and her character's introduction is excellent. Top notch.
IV. At Thoth-Amon's Castle of Illusion. From the time Conan and his part leave the shore in the boat to the moment that they leave Thoth-Amon's castle, I felt like I was watching a completely different film. It is like you're watching a decent Conan yarn but somebody changes the DVD and makes you watch Roger Corman's cheapest fantasy film. The stuff in these scenes are gawd awful. All of it needs to be taken out of the film with...something better...re-cut into the film. Thoth-Amon not being a Stygian is the least of this sequence's problems. The sets are cheesy. The monster is cheesy (but reminescent of Thak from Rogues in the House. The entire section will have anybody roll their eyes.
V. Travel to the tomb to get the Horn/Battle with Shadizar Guard. Not bad. Some attempt at humor and subplot is made. We're still recovering from the crap we saw at Thoth's-Amom. But, there is some character development.
VI. At the Tomb. To my surprise, the Tomb actually looks decent. After seeing Thoth-Amon's crystal castle in the lake, I didn't know what to expect, but what I did expect wasn't good. The scene where the two mages pit their magics against each other could have been better, but it was acceptible.
VII. Shadizar and the climax. And, the climax is OK, except for one thing. The monster-Dagon is truly, utterly, laughable. And because the Throne Room and the rest of the sequence looks pretty good, it is jolting to cut to this awful man-in-a-rubber-suit.
Yeah, if you can somehow improve the Thoth-Amon sequence and the Dagon fight at the end, the film would gain a full star or two in many people's reveiw.
