Military Rules (From a Marine, of Course) - Slightly OT

Hiromoon

Mongoose
Military Rules
(from a marine, of course)

Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL Rules:
1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

Army Ranger Rules:
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:
1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

Air Force Rules:
1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines
 
There's the one about what happens when you ask the different arms to "secure a building":

- An army soldier checks his ROE, goes in careful, clears all the rooms, establish a close peremiter, and settles in waiting for new orders.

- A Marine lobs in a hand grenade, storms after it with guns blazing, kills everyone inside, kills everyone in the adjoining buildings, then radios in to say he's going to clear the rest of the block while he's at it.

- A navy sailor switches off the lights, turns down the heating, and locks the door.

- An air force pilot calls his real-estate agent.
 
LMAO the Marine one is os true :lol: the other ones looked like they are trying to make them seem inferior to the USMC though LOL still funny
 
General M203 Rule:

Always make sure your safety is "on" when not in combat, if it should accidently discharge, you will not be popular with whats left of your squad.

General Rule of Physics:

Cluster bombs are the most accurate weapon on the face of this planet. Guaranteed to hit the ground.

:lol:
 
Hiromoon said:
Military Rules
(from a marine, of course)

Navy Rules:
1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines

You have #3 and #4 reversed.

Always hide the Porn till the Marines are gone.
 
Harumph.

I'll remember all these Air Force jokes this weekend - as I laugh myself up another dozen boxes of minis on Uncle Sam! :lol:
 
britneyfan97 said:
Harumph.

I'll remember all these Air Force jokes this weekend - as I laugh myself up another dozen boxes of minis on Uncle Sam! :lol:

.....my tax dollars at work..... :?
 
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