Hello, my name is Dr Skull, and I have a Monkey Problem


I just can't help myself.

Before Conan came out I was running a homebrew Sci-Fi d20 game called "Space Bastards". I had bought some "Planet of the Apes" style miniatures and some of the giant gorillamen from the 100 Kingdoms line of miniatures. So, in the game we had 2 races of simians "ape-men, and Kongs). We saw apes every adventure.

Now with 3 Conan adventures under my belt, I have had a monkey in everyone of them too. In my 12th level test game there was Hublux the Monkey God, in my first regular session there was the "apelike" Nameless Horror of the Oasis of the Damned, and in my second regular game there were two Man-apes, which really should have been Toad things as Iron Chef realized.

I have a monkey problem, I need help. Must resist using monkeys for at least one game session. MUST RESIST! It is so hard.
What's funny about this is that my group has a running joke about 'monkey humping'.... Eventually, everything goes back to that. Of course, it didn't help that I got the book that allowed use of all types of non standard creatures at the same time I got a great figure of a man ape holding up the eviserated 1/2 corpse of a roman legionairre. This figure was so cool, I had to have it and paint it, and since I had the rules....well, now I have a blood ape character and the humping references never stop....
DrSkull said:
I have a monkey problem, I need help. Must resist using monkeys for at least one game session. MUST RESIST! It is so hard.

:? :?
I don't get it. Just what is this problem you speak of? I mean, reading over your post it sounds like you feel that you have too many monkeys in your game, but that cant be it. Thats just crazy talk. :x

OH :idea: I get it now! You have a problem because you don't have enough different kinds of monkeys! Oh, that is perfectly understandable friend. everybody has that problem! What you need next are some Cannibal Flying Monkeys :D

Cannibal Flying Feces Flinging Monkeys

Cannibal Flaming Flying Feces Flinging Fire Monkeys

Cannibal Exploding Flaming Flying Feces Flinging Fire Monkeys

Excuse me, I think I am going to go have a seizure and foam at the mouth some now.

Don't feel bad.

In my Star Wars D20 game, my players have encountered:

Large, foul grey gorilla-like creatures strong in the dark side (like the apes in the movie Congo, but not as nice...). These were dubbed "Dark side skunk monkeys"

Then they encountered a lizard-monkey that was a nobles pet. It actually turned out to be a force using assassin in disguise.

And they almost encountered fungus monkeys in their current debacle, but at the last minute I resisted and changed it to mushroom men.

You just can't go wrong with monkeys.