Can now be grabbed at;
http://www.mongoosepublishing.com/home/detail.php?qsID=1813
http://www.mongoosepublishing.com/home/detail.php?qsID=1813
Stormwalker said:Looking good - can't wait for this one - but y'all got to fix that chapter title "Babarian and Nomad Cults"...
BenQ said:Stormwalker said:Looking good - can't wait for this one - but y'all got to fix that chapter title "Babarian and Nomad Cults"...
But what's wrong with tribes from the plains worshiping a cartoon elephant god?!
Deleriad said:BenQ said:Stormwalker said:Looking good - can't wait for this one - but y'all got to fix that chapter title "Babarian and Nomad Cults"...
But what's wrong with tribes from the plains worshiping a cartoon elephant god?!
I think the problem is the "babarians" ...
"Not only" really should have a ", but also" or it makes no sense. Either give a "but" or replace "not only may they" with "they may".Once all available POW has been bartered for Gifts, not only may they not receive any further Gifts."
The unholy heat of what? "with its unholy heat", or "with unholy heat".Their eyes and mouths are gaping holes flled with the breath of Shargash and the air around them crackles with the unholy heat.
Needs a comma after "sets light to the victim". Also needs to clarify whether the original struck location suffers damage per round or not.If successful, the Grasp attack sets light to the victim and 1D3 locations adjacent to the one struck by the initial Unarmed attack suffer 1D6 points of damage per Combat Round until the fre can be extinguished.
"The cult believes", or "The cults believe", or "The members believe", etc. Also "Here they will remain there"?The cults believes that they will go to a Happy Hunting Ground after death. Here they will remain there for many years before again entering the cycle of birth and rebirth.
Not to mention, more pedantically, that they should set the victim alight, rather than setting lights to them (I have visions of victims surrounded by tealights).PhilHibbs said:...Needs a comma after "sets light to the victim". Also needs to clarify whether the original struck location suffers damage per round or not.If successful, the Grasp attack sets light to the victim and 1D3 locations adjacent to the one struck by the initial Unarmed attack suffer 1D6 points of damage per Combat Round until the fre can be extinguished.
...
Oh please, take him up on this offer!PhilHibbs said:Loz, I already offered to proofread for you - that offer still stands.
Oh, sure, it's going to be great. But it could be better.Loz said:Aside from the (very) few howlers, I do think you'll like Cults.
Deleriad said:There is probably a just-so story about how the elephant found his R in there somewhere.